Recently during a morning bible study we were asked the question: "Have you ever heard God's voice?"
I instantly smiled and was brought back to a few months ago when I had an encounter like I had never experienced before.
In June, just a few one month after moving to this new foreign place, I struggled to sleep for three weeks straight. I would find myself awake and rolling in bed hour after hour unable to fall asleep. One night as I was snuggling my sweet pup and watching a movie I immediately had the word "obedience" pop into my mind. I didn't think much of it, shrugged my shoulders, and continued to focus on whatever it was that I was watching. Throughout the late hours of this one night I would randomly be reminded of it only to not put much thought into it.
I didn't realize at the moment that that was God giving me that word.
I last looked at the clock at 5:30 in the morning and finally decided to roll over and close my eyes. The second that I closed my eyes I knew I had heard from God clearly. He had given me a bible verse to look up which had never in my life happened before.
The bible verse was Hebrews 5:8 which says:
Though He was God's Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.
Quickly, I grabbed my phone and began typing out a message to reflect on in the morning. This was something that had never happened before and I wasn't sure how to figure out what this meant. At the time of this I was suffering greatly with General Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder and never thought I would find myself on the other side of this learning how to cope and manage this unfortunate mental illness. I figured that I was suffering for a reason and that in due time I would find relief, but I wasn't sure what obedience had to do with it.
Flash forward back to this month and while I do still suffer with my mental illness I also know how to cope through attacks and can manage my thoughts much better. I suffered and I was obedient through it, but I still never had that "aha" moment that this was what that verse meant until this past weekend.
This past week I have been searching for a "right" answer to a huge decision that would change the season of life that I am currently in. However, God was revealing to me that I wasn't seeking Him. He would tell me to stop seeking advice of others and look to Him, but I wouldn't I needed to talk about it and audibly hear responses.
I questioned why I wasn't hearing from Him in this moment when I really needed it, but I wasn't seeking genuinely/
When that question was asked to the ladies of our bible study this one encounter was brought back to the forefront of my thoughts and I was redirected back to that scripture.
God immediately showed me exactly what that verse meant for this season in my life and there was the answer to the decision that I needed. It wasn't the choice that I would've made for myself, but knowing it is going to be His will for me over mine helps me to have peace and comfort in this life change.
I do believe that He is going to use our suffering for great causes and in those moments we'll learn to be obedient. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. He's going to remind me of this verse more in my life and I am excited to see how. I pray that I'll continue to seek Him and not others in moments of rushed decisions because His will is much greater than my own selfish desires in life.