Living in the past within your head can be a dangerous game. Once what was so clear and obviously, becomes hazed and distorted. It's almost as if you try and convince yourself things were different than they actually were. It's a weird concept to wrap your head around.

One night, late when I couldn't quite fall asleep, I allowed myself to live inside my head for just a moment. I allowed myself to believe everything just what I wanted to. Began to put my pen to paper and let the words pour.

Flashbacks came like whiplash,

Quick, sudden, and painful.

Boy, were they painful.

I could feel every sensation.

A heavy heart, usually sunken deep into my gut

Trying to tell me something I did not want to give into.

Something I brushed aside effortlessly; wind blown hair across my face.

It was so damn easy to brush aside.

But, there was more to it all; more beneath the surface.

Slipped away were the days I once became so accustomed to.

Rewriting second nature.

A displeasing difference.

Reliving the dismantled memories.

I imagine the times as if the recollections were not just that,

But instead still the days I lived.

The journey;

The unobtainable

Peace of mind.

Sometimes I think it would be easier

To let the rippling current

Take the piercing whiplash away

And carry it out, bringing my overwhelmed being with.