We are still together.
Yep. You read that right. I am still with the man that cheated on me over a year ago. And you know what? I'm glad I gave him a second chance.
Now before you go off and say that I'm crazy or he will do it again or "once a cheater always a cheater" hear me out.
We were together for an enthralling 2 years and three months when it happened. But to be honest, a lot of that was puppy love and not the real profound love that develops over time. We spent a lot of time in secrecy and we were doing things we shouldn't have done. Then in November, I found out that the girl that "was just a friend"was not just a friend. She was his little secret to say the least. Needless to say he's not good at keeping secrets for very long and I found out rather quickly.
Let me tell you, I was devastated, I screamed in his face, I cried a LOT of tears over it, I missed classes and work and hanging out with friends and people who deeply cared about my well being because I didn't want to hear what they had to say. Of course, I had several amazing friends who didn't let me be until I talked with them (and from the bottom of my heart I thank you. You guys are the absolute best for putting up with so much and for always believing in me and not judging me).
It was not a hard decision to give him a second chance. I am a firm believer in the love that God has given us. He has given me a million and one chances and never fails to give me more than I deserve. Why is it, then, so hard to let people in our lives have a second chance? I mean, I know I'm not God.
I didn't just hand it over. There was a lot of talking and conversations that we had that hurt like hell. But, we had them for days at a time and we talked about everything that went wrong and what we were feeling. We talked about who we were and what we wanted in life. He apologized over and over (and apologizes still over a year later). I made him work for a second chance that I knew I was going to give him all along because in the face of trouble, I know that deep down he is an amazing guy and never had the intentions to betray me in such a way.
After, he wasn't allowed to delete texts or phone calls without me there. He couldn't be trusted to be in the presence of women without another man present that I could still trust. He was never to talk to her again. That's it. He still did his own thing and I still did mine and we talked and talked and talked about what we wanted in life.
Our communication improved immensely after this little thing that happened. And I fully believe it won't happen again. If it does, shame on me. But, anyone who knows my loving fiancé knows that it was a poor lapse in judgment and that it's not something we believed would or will happen again. Not to be used as an excuse, but he had just gotten himself out of depression and taken himself off his ADHD medicine which can severely mess with a person's mind. So, before you judge me, him or us, understand every little thing about the situation. Stop judging people so quickly because what they choose to do isn't exactly what you THINK you would have done.
With that, not everyone can do it. Let me tell you, it hasn't been easy but we are doing better than ever.
(And to the girl, I don't hate you, and I never will. I wish you the best in all you do and hope life treats you better.)
