The first thing I need to get across before you read this is that I absolutely love my parents. They were just strict growing up! It's funny because when my brother and I tell them that they're being strict, they completely disagree. But now that I'm older, I'm able to understand a little better why they gave us so many rules.
My friends from high school know all of these things too well. One of the biggest things that bothered me about having strict parents was feeling left out a lot of the time. Most of my friends in my close circle were always allowed to stay out later than I was, their parents didn't question them when they went out, and didn't blow their phones up when they were out.
Before I even got to hang out with my friends, I'd have to give my parents every detail - who I was going to be with, exactly where I was going, what we were going to be doing, and when I'd be back. This was a lot! I was a teenager, just trying to enjoy my time. I didn't think I had to follow a detailed itinerary for going to the beach or going shopping with my friends.
Even though they usually allowed me to go out, I'd be getting hourly messages from them asking how everything was going. And that bothered me because I didn't feel like I needed to give so many updates. Seriously, I'm focused on enjoying my time with my friends. It felt like I had no freedom.
At one point, my parents even tracked my phone, and that was a huge Big Brother feeling - that someone was monitoring my every movement even though I wasn't doing anything morally wrong or illegal.
I hated feeling like my parents didn't trust me because I had never given them a reason not to. I knew kids who were out doing reckless and questionable things, but I was just trying to go eat some food and shop with my friends and just hang out! My parents' favorite lines to hit me with were, "It's not that we don't trust you, we just can't trust other people," or "Because I said so." And I get it. I get that you can't trust everyone, but it felt so overbearing. And I also get that my grandparents never questioned what my parents did or where they were doing when my parents were my age. But these things happened every. single. time. I went out with my friends.
Sometimes, I would lie about where I was because my parents would say "That's too far" or "How are you going to get home?" or other unnecessary questions that they really already knew the answer to. I always felt like they were trying to bother me.
When my friends used to ask me if I wanted to go somewhere or do something, and I'd always say, "I'll have to ask my parents." And they all knew to ask in advance because of the lengthy process I had to go through in asking or persuading.
I don't think this negatively impacts me today because I'm in college, far from home, with so much more freedom and responsibility. But at the time, it was ridiculously annoying. I can't say how to parent because I'm not a parent myself, but I do think it's important for parents to put at least a little bit of trust into their children, otherwise they may resent you for it.
