I lost many friends for having a strong personality, which I did not notice until many years have passed. But what exactly counts as having a strong personality?

From what I read, it means being too forward, not making excuses, you listen, you are fearless...sounds like good traits right? Apparently though these scare people.

But why? I think it is because people are not used to someone, especially a female, sticking up for oneself and just being honest with her answers. If someone asks me how I am for instance they expect the usual "I am good" answer, for me though if I am not good, I will say "I am doing crappy, to be honest thanks for asking though, how are you?" See, strong.

So what is wrong with that? Do I seem to rub people the wrong way?

I have always been outgoing and assertive and I do not know how else to be. I have a lot of anxiety as well that accounts for my strong persona so maybe I just overshare.

I try to be quiet and keep to myself at times but then when I am not my true self people get concerned. So I can't win. So then what do I do?

I can keep losing friends for being upfront, keep quiet and not be myself, try to filter what I say but then I may seem weak and people will be concerned, there is a lot to take in.

I did not realize how strong my persona was until my mother had said something and made me realize it when she made me think about the many friends I have lost over the years. I am not a mean person but she said when I have to stick up for myself, I will. So why is that a bad thing? Am I suppose to let people walk all over me?

In this world today people also don't want to deal or confront others when a situation arises, so they rather ghost or avoid the situation.

I am trying so hard to be a good person without losing myself but it is very hard when people judge me right off the back and do not give me a chance. I want to be more mindful of how I behave but it seems not to matter how I act, quite or strong, it is going to scare people.

I luckily have a few friends who still adore me but it saddens me knowing that others think poorly of me. Should I care? no. But I do.

I guess all I can do is being mindful of my behavior and notice when my strong traits come out so I do not scare people. other then that, I am truly stuck.