I have a question for you, and forgive me if it's out of line... BUT WHY THE HECK DO PEOPLE ENJOY HORROR MOVIES?! Isn't fear a negative emotion? Isn't it a sign of instability to take pleasure in having the bejesus scared out of you?

I'm throwing a lot of questions at you; Sorry about that! I might just be trying to justify my own terrible cowardice. Yeah, I'm a complete "scaredy cat," but I'm not ashamed to admit it. I just can't understand horror movies or their appeal.

LET ME TAKE YOU ON A JOURNEY!

When I was a youth, I walked in on my parents watching Edward Scissorhands. I watched it with them and was deeply disturbed by peoples' faces being cut up and all that by good ol' Eddy. That started a trend of fear, really. I couldn't go in haunted houses unless there was a LOT of candy to justify it (and if I was safely concealed within the middle of my group). I cried while watching the remake of Carrie three years ago, even after I'd thoroughly researched the entire plot so I'd be prepared for everything that came my way. I peed my pants a little at the "Walking Dead" zombie walk-through ride at Universal last summer. It happens.

I love playing pranks on people, but I truly detest being scared. My brother loves all things horror (what a psycho), and I don't know HOW. I'm the type of person who still has to look away when I'm getting a shot at the doctor's office. I hate jump scares, I hate psychological thrillers and creepiness, and I hate gore.

Wow, don't I sound like a joy to be around?

The only horror movie I got through and didn't mind at all was The Ring. I was watching it a few years ago with a group of friends. One of them passed gas on me and I was so disgusted that I couldn't focus on being afraid. Is this the key to enjoying horror movies? If it is, I don't think it's worth it. I truly don't understand the appeal of horror movies or anything scary, and I don't think I ever will.

Soooo I guess if there's anything to be gleaned from whatever this is, it's that if you need me this or any Halloween season, I will be hiding in my dorm room, stuffing my face with pounds of chocolate.