Cuffing Season Was Dead To Me Until I Found My Person

'Tis The Season Of Cuffing And I Admit That I Used To Be Anti-Relationships

Being emotionally attached to someone? No, thanks.

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I did not believe in the whole idea of investing so much effort and time on someone for romantic reasons and purposes. I thought it was straight up stupid to let yourself become attached. I did not understand the logic behind being vulnerable and taking your walls down.

To be fair, I conditioned myself to be as emotionless as possible. I kept to myself. My reasoning is that people always leave. For me, it seemed like it was almost impossible to keep the same people around for a long time. I watched so many of them come and go that I built a wall to protect myself. I was not about to waste any of my time or let alone someone else take advantage of it just to end up hurting me. And, it's safe to say that I was scared, but I only wanted to be reasonable and practical.

I watched my friends get into relationships every time cuffing season came around. One by one getting snatched off the market, leaving me behind to be that designated single and bitter friend. It's not like I always talked bad about relationships. Thought I'd complain every now and then about not having a love life like the rest of my friends, I was still not a fan of getting serious with a boy. I had too much fun telling others that I had 10 different boyfriends at once.

The funny thing is that I was that friend to go and run to for relationship advice even though I lacked experience and hated the whole idea of being in love.

My friends came to me for help because my decisions wouldn't be as clouded as theirs. But, it was just all common sense to me. There was no use in making situations longer and more complicated. I tend to have a solution even before my friends would be done explaining their whole dilemma to me.

And, that was the problem. I always had a solution. I always had a backup plan. I always knew what to do next. I didn't know how to just live in the moment, which played a huge part in as to why I dealt with commitment issues. I always wanted things to go the way I planned them. I thought relationships were just not for me at all.

After convincing myself for so long that I was definitely not the type to be in a relationship, I realized that was nowhere close to the truth. It was a matter of finding someone who would make you feel at ease. I did, in fact, find that person. I learned to become comfortable and allow myself to be embrace vulnerability.

When you find your person, everything just flows easily. Yes, you're going to run into some issues, but you'll have each other to go through them. It would never just be one against the whole world.

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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Dear Dads, Every Day Is Father's Day, Especially Today

To all the wonderful dads out there: you are LOVED!

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Today, we celebrate you dad. Whether you're the sports dad, the music dad, the car dad, the engineer dad, the math dad, the religious dad, the protective dad, or some combination of the above, we want to celebrate you!

You have showed us what it means to be hard-working.

You tend to work overtime at your job and bring your work home. You care a ton about your employees and treat them with the utmost respect. You deal with your clients carefully, determined to fully satisfy their requests of your company. You have taught us to work diligently until the task is finished, take your time on projects to ensure completion to the highest standard, and always communicate effectively with clients and employees.

You have showed us what it means to be loyal.

You've remained loyal to caring for the family for as long as we have been alive. You've remained loyal to your clients and employees. You've remained loyal to your trade by pursuing it for over 25 years. You've remained loyal to us by attending our ceremonies and graduations. You've remained loyal to our mom by staying married and working through everything. You've remained loyal to your siblings by always being a shoulder for them. You've remained loyal to your parents by making time to remind them they are loved. Most importantly, you've remained loyal to the Lord, our Father through your faith and example as a dad. You have stayed loyal to all of these things, showing us what it means to remain steadfast and what things in life are worth our complete loyalty.

You have showed us what it means to love and be loved.

You've showed us that true love is not always rainbow and unicorns. We see the ups and downs that life brings you. We see that sometimes it is too difficult to show others love. We see the perfect example of how to balance life and love through you. You've showed us that to love others is to care deeply for them. You've showed us that to love others is to always want the best possible outcome for them. You've showed us that to love others is to pray for them. You've given us unconditional, everlasting love through your words, actions, support, and guidance. We've learned how to accept love, reciprocate love, and give love to those who need it most.

It is because of you dad, that we were able to grow up into the hard-working, loyal, and loving people we are today. For that, we are forever grateful. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Let's celebrate them today and every day!

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