It's weird to write these articles; many people probably think that I have some chip on my shoulder. That I believe I have this nïave perspective on life where I see above others and the true reality of life. However, I think I've learned a lot of the lessons I write about in my life the hard way, and to not share those lessons would be selfish.
The past few years have been hard. We all struggle in different ways, and your reasons don't matter—if you're struggling, you're struggling. Although, I had to come to my own realization that I couldn't let myself sit in a rut any longer. I decided that it was time for me to grow, to become the person that I want to truly be.
I thought this period of my life would be great. That I would become a better person, that life would get so much better and that it would be an easy process. But I learned the hard way that this was far from the truth. To grow, it takes loss. Loss of toxic friends that you thought you loved. The loss of old, comforting mentalities that aren't serving you well anymore. You quite literally have to examine everything about yourself, which is hard. But, to then change and adapt to the way you live your life now is difficult because you will feel guilty.
You'll feel guilty for leaving toxic people in the past that you wish you could hold onto. And when you finally look at what you want to change about yourself, you'll feel guilty that you even let yourself become the person you are. You'll feel grief for the people you've burned in the past, and you'll hope for their forgiveness. But with growth comes exactly that.
Forgiveness is a crucial point in growth. You have to forgive yourself for your past and the person you once were. You have to forgive yourself for the people you had to remove in order to become better, and for quite possibly changing to benefit yourself. At the end of the day, the only person you have to fall asleep with at night is yourself. The only person you need to please is yourself. Those who truly love and appreciate you will stay with you through the strenuous process of growth, and the poor friends will fall.
It won't be easy. There will be sleepless nights of overthinking everything and desperate hopes for the fact that you're playing your cards right. Even though the journey is hard, it doesn't mean that you should hide from the opportunity of growth because, in the end, your growth will be beautiful.
