My world got turned up side down when my Father came home to us in a wheelchair. My daily routine changed, the family stress level increased, and everyone's personal stress level increased. It is not easy.
I commute to a local college and Family is the most important thing to me. No, not just because my Father is in a wheelchair. When I come home from class, I check in with my father to see if he needs anything before I go upstairs to do my homework. Usually it's a no.
When I go upstairs and get settled in, my Father calls me on my cell phone. It starts with an eye roll but I answer the phone with a smile. Usually that phone call is something that can be put off until later, but it is important to him so I take care of it.
Growing up with a handicapped parent, you learn to be selfless, giving, patient, loving, and even more kind than you have ever been.
Most of the time, the roles reverse. Your father used to take care of you, but now you are caring for your father. You put his needs before your own because that's what he's done for you for years on end.
Everyday tasks, such as making coffee in the morning usually end in something spilling, breaking, and your mother getting upset. It's not easy to have to do daily tasks from a sitting position.
You become giving. You constantly ask what he/she needs, how his/her day was, and you take the time to talk to him/her.
Patience is a virtue that few of us are blessed with. Living with a handicapped parent teaches you how important patience is. You learn to give time, and let him/her try to accomplish a task by himself/herself. When you hear noises in the kitchen, you go downstairs and see what the noise is about. You stay downstairs until he/she doesn't need your help.
Whatever he went through that changed him, you still love him. His personality may be a little more explosive, he may forget easier, but you love these things about him. You bite your tongue instead of starting a fight most of the time.
You become more kind and helpful. You help them with tasks that they may not need help with. You learn how to help, and when to help and if they don't need help, you go downstairs and guide them through whatever they are doing without helping.
Feelings get hurt, we get upset and flustered. Breathe deep, and remind yourself that they are trying to help to make your life easier.
