In the past couple of days, the idea that I will soon be an adult in the "real world" has been becoming clearer and clearer. I've been thinking how different everything will become for me in a couple months: I'll graduate, start college, even turn eighteen. It's a little bit scary, but still thrilling. However, I am having trouble with the prospect of letting go the creature comforts I'm so used to today. Will I really be able to accomplish achievements on my own? Can I do this by myself? Right now, I don't have a clear, concise idea of what I want to do with my life, but hopefully that will come later.

The fact that most everything will change for me seems more ominous than joyous. To tell the truth, I'm terrified. I'm trying to have faith in myself and tell myself that everything will be alright, but the fear of the unknown stays in my mind. I just can't shake it. I know this is something everyone goes through, but I'm not finding solace in that remark.

I suppose most of all I don't want to go it alone. But then again, who does? I'm a social person by nature. What I'm most concerned about is how my social life will change. Many of my friends are going to colleges an hour or more farther away from me. Of course I want them to follow their dreams and follow the path where that takes them, but I sincerely wish we could remain close geographically speaking. College life will be very difficult in the beginning, letting go of all my best friends who have helped me so much in high school. But I know this is necessary for their individual success.

I hope that before too long, I will be comfortable with the idea of growing up and moving on with my life. I understand that I can't be a child forever, but my brain doesn't want to admit to that. It's like opposing forces playing tug of war; part of me wants to become who I truly am and blossom into a wonderful grown-up, but the other part of me wants to remain sheltered in my carefree child state.

I know that becoming an adult and getting rid of what once labeled you as a child is a must. I understand that society will pressure me to conform and change, and I will. It's just that the idea of it coming on so soon really does impact me. I believe I just didn't realize how fast approaching this change really was for me. Yet, I think I can do this. It'll be scary and even unprecedented, but i think I can make it on my own, Everyone else has done it before me, why not me too? If i think I can do it, I'll make it happen. I just need some perserverence.