Death is hard on everyone. It's the ending of a beautiful life that you loved and cherished. We will all experience death at some point, but before that, we experience the deaths of those we love. With this comes the feelings of grieving. Grieving is the time of mourning and sorrow that we experience when we lose those that we love, and it can be a hard and dark time. I say this from experience.
I've lost many loved ones in my time. From my grandfather at the age of 12 to my childhood dog at 15, to losing a very important umpire and ballplayer to me at the age of 18, and most recently losing my grandmother and great-grandmother simultaneously at the age of 20, I've unfortunately had my fair share of death and grieving. What I have learned: we all grieve at different rates, and that's ok.
I still struggle every day with the grief from losing my grandparents. They were some of my best friends. Being adopted at the age of 4 by my dad when he married my mom, I gained my Grandma and Grandpa at that age, and they took me as their own without hesitation. My Grandma was one of my best friends. She loved me for who I was, which is an oddball. When my parents didn't agree with my "teenage rebellion" and I wanted to dye my hair blue, she encouraged me to be who I wanted to be. She always encouraged me to be who I wanted to be.
My Papaw was one of my biggest heroes growing up. I looked at him like he hung the stars for me. He was a big influence in my life, and words can not describe how much I miss him. My Great, which was my name for my great-grandmother, was a loving, caring, headstrong woman, and she was one of my favorite people to play with and be around as a child. Ultimately, each of these loved ones touched my heart in ways I can't describe, and I miss them all so much.
Grieving them has been a process for me, and that's the key: for ME. It has been years since my grandfather passed away, and every day I miss him. You never fully get over the death of a loved one, but each day gets a little bit better and a little bit easier. This is my own process. I walk this path in my own way. And this is the way grieving happens for everyone. No one can define your timeline of healing, and no one can tell you how you are supposed to feel and how soon you are supposed to be ok with the death of a loved one. So this is encouragement for you: no matter how long you have been grieving, it's ok. You will heal in your own time and walk your own path.