My Heart Is Heavy For The Missing Loved Ones This Holiday Season

My Heart Is Heavy For The Missing Loved Ones This Holiday Season

The holidays can be tough alone, missing certain loved ones can be another battle to face.

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Heartache is heavy.

It comes spontaneously. You never seem to know how to prepare yourself. One can set up barriers and shields to protect themselves beforehand to prevent any kind of pain. But regardless of how strong you are, the aftermath can affect you in one form or another.

A certain kind of heartache everyone experiences in the duration of their life is a loss. Loss of a friend, family member, or someone of great significance in your life. Everyone navigates different ways to go about finding healing and peace, but there are many times that there is not a simple solution. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it's not easy. Sometimes the pain feels so heavy on your shoulders that you don't always know what to do.

I wish I could give a singular piece of advice that would help heal and take away the pain. But what I can do to try to comfort is to remind you that they loved you so greatly. I am sure they held onto you the same way you held onto them. A love like that will never fade away and you will always have that held in your heart, along with all the memories. If you go through your days with little things that remind you of them, know that's them signaling to you that they are still around. It's the little things that you will always be able to hold onto, that will never go away.

Another important piece of advice is to let yourself go through the emotions. Allow yourself to grieve in whatever way grants you the most peace. We all grieve in different ways and through different amounts of time. Don't suppress any feelings. I cannot stress that enough. Suppressing my feelings and not allowing myself to go through all the waves of emotions made it a lot harder for me to grieve. Allow yourself to feel everything, and then try little by little each day to recoup yourself. Even if it's making your bed and working out as your main objectives of the day, having goals like that for each day will help move forward and take care of yourself. It's very easy to lose yourself experiencing loss, continue to still make yourself a priority especially during the seasons.

Commemorate their life and celebrate it. Some ways to do this is doing little things in their honor, whether it be wearing their favorite sweater or framing a picture of the two of you. Keeping a little piece of them with you throughout the day will give you a certain kind of peace that although we may not see it, they are always around. Spread the love you receive and love dearly the people you have in your circle. Every relationship holds value, and let them know they hold value to you.

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Why Your Grandma Is Your Biggest Blessing In Life

Because nobody loves you more than she does.
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There are many people in your life you are thankful for: Mom, Dad, siblings, cousins, best friends, teachers, neighbors, you name it. You are grateful to have people who constantly support you, who pick you up when you're down and love you unconditionally. But the one person who stands out among the rest of them is your grandma.

SEE ALSO: 10 Reasons Why Your Grandma Is The Best Person In Your Life

Ever since you were little, you and your grandma have always had a special connection. Going over to Grandma's house for the night was something you looked forward to. She knew how to entertain you at your best and worst moments. No matter what you did together, you loved it. Being with your grandma wasn't like being at home or with your parents – it was better. You went to the park, made cookies, went out to dinner, got a “sweet treat" at the mall, played Go Fish, took a bubble bath for as long as you wanted and got way too much dessert than you should have. You did things you weren't supposed to do, but Grandma didn't stop you. Because at Grandma's house there were no rules, and you didn't have to worry about a single thing. Being with Grandma was the true epitome of childhood. She let you be you. She always made sure you had the best time when you were with her, and she loved watching you grow up with a smile on your face.

The older you got, your weekend excursions with your grandma weren't as frequent, and you didn't get to see her as much. You became more and more busy with school, homework, clubs, sports, and friends. You made the most out of your time to see her, and you wished you could be with her more. Although you were in the prime of your life, she mattered even more to you the older you both became. You were with your friends 24/7, but you missed being with your grandma. When the time rolled around, and you got the chance to spend time with her, she told you never to apologize. She wanted you to go out, have fun and enjoy life the way it makes you happy.

Reflecting back on these moments with your grandma, you realize how truly special she is to you. There is no one who could ever compare to her nor will there ever be. All your life, there is no one who will be as sweet, as caring, as sincere or as genuine as her. Even though you're all grown up now, there are things about your grandma that never changed from when you were a kid. She still takes you out for your favorite meal because she knows how important eating out means to you. She writes you letters and sends you a $5 bill every now and then because she knows you're a hard-working college student with no money. She still helps you with all of your Christmas shopping because she knows it's your tradition. She still asks what's new with your young life because hearing about it makes her day and she still loves you to no end. Your grandma is your biggest blessing (whether you knew it or not), and she always will be no matter what.

Cover Image Credit: Erin Kron

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As I Get Older, I Care Less And Less About My Birthday

It doesn't hold the same meaning as it did when I was younger.

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Every year people celebrate their birthday. It's an exciting day for most as you get some gifts and cake and spend it with friends and family. I used to love my birthday. I loved that on that one day, the spotlight was on me. People had to care about me. As I've gotten older though, I found myself caring less and less about my birthday. It's not a day I get excited about.

I've always had a love/hate relationship with my birthday anyway, given that it's on Valentine's Day. So I've always had to share my birthday with all that love and people wanting to spend it with their partner. I believe that the dislike side has grown as well because as I get older and my friends get older, they are all finding someone to be with or starting a family. Therefore, they have someone they want to spend the day with. They want to celebrate with them, not me. I've always had to battle Valentine's Day.

I believe that once you've hit a lot of major milestone birthdays (i.e first, 16th, 18th, 21st) there isn't much to look forward to. It's just another year added to your life.

You realize more and more that you're just getting older.

I'm generally a simple person as well. I don't want a huge party, I don't want fancy gifts, and I really hate people singing to me. I like having the attention, but hate it at the same time. It's a weird feeling to explain. You want to be loved, but don't want it all at once. I don't want all eyes on me.

Of course, there will always be certain parts of my birthday that I really like and do look forward to. My mom gets me the heart-shaped donuts from Dunkin' every year on my birthday. She never forgets because I don't give her the chance to. I always remind her. I do like the fact that I can ask for something, and more often than not get it because it's my birthday.

I don't mean like big gifts either. I mean that I can ask that we have what I want for dinner. That I can ask my mom to spend some one on one time with me. Simple things that I don't usually get.

I don't hate my birthday, I just don't feel as much excitement as I did growing up. It's just another day of the year.

There's just too much effort you have to put into your birthday as you grow older as well. You usually have to plan something yourself, which I don't want to do. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do because I don't want a party and there isn't anything special I ever wish to do. Even if I did want to plan a party inviting people would be a nightmare and trying to make it work for different people is a hassle.

I just think that as you get older, birthday's just aren't worth the trouble.

So, I've accepted the fact that I just don't care. I will enjoy the little things about it, but I won't make a big fuss. It's just another day.

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