One extremely admirable quality to have, as well as one that can have bad side effects, is introspection. When you learn how to reflect on past choices and people you have interacted with in life, there can be great potential to consider which areas one can improve in. Who are your actual friends that you deeply bond with as opposed to those who you connect with on a superficial level?
What do you expect from people in general compared to people that you relate to in a close way? Furthermore, where are you investing your time and energy? If you're coming away feeling disappointed or even resentful and bitter, perhaps it's time to reexamine what your expectations were.
1. Be thankful for the closest relationships you have.
I have experienced bitterness and resentment towards people who I tried to form close friendships with but which, on reflection, may not have meant to be. Reciprocity - or give and take - is arguably one of the core features of true friendships. Both people need to be investing in each other and taking initiative. Well, oftentimes I would get frustrated when I felt someone was not my friend (even if they considered me a friend for various reasons) because I was trying to create a friendship without a core principle! That's almost like trying to build a house without the foundation and getting frustrated when it doesn't turn out right. Ya think?!
In reality, though, I realized that I was stretching myself too thin by trying to develop close friendships with so many people, that I was neglecting my closest relationships because I was caught up in frustrations. I ended up concluding that I wasn't grateful enough for the closest relationships I had and repented before the Lord. I am truly grateful to my closest friends and family.
2. Pour more energy into your closest relationships than your acquaintances.
You end up not having enough energy to invest in your closest relationships when you waste lots of energy complaining about why your acquaintances aren't becoming your closest friends. I am fully guilty of that. That is partly why I said in the previous main point to express gratitude to the Lord for the closest friends you do have. There is one small caveat here though. I do think that if the Lord brings someone into your life who gives clear, unambiguous evidence that he/she wants to invest in your life *despite* not being your close friend, you should invest in them as well. Relationships require connection and investment in order to flourish. You might connect with several people in various ways for different reasons, but it will be those who go further with investment and reciprocity that you should give more time and energy to.
