Goodbye To The Girl I was In 2017, Hello To The Girl I Will Be In 2018

2017 was probably one of the most difficult, overwhelming and eye-opening years for me. Through the midst of having to medically withdraw from school, to struggling extremely financially, dealing with family issues and relationships problems and lastly not being true to who I was as a person; it has been a rough and bumpy ride.

There were days where I would do anything to just end it all because I was tired of feeling like my life was going around in circles. I felt as though nothing good was coming out of my life. Granted, I did have some good moments but I was so blind and focused on the negative that I did not cherish the small victories.

Every time I looked in the mirror I barely recognized who I was.

I felt lost, but I didn't want to do anything about it. Instead, I was just sitting around hoping for something to change instead of me going out and making it happen myself. Because of all the bad, I lost sight of my faith and began to blame God for all of my problems. I pushed the ones I cared most about away and sought out temporary fixes in the wrong places.

However, towards the end of this year, I decided that I had had enough. I was tired of feeling depressed and that my life was just doomed. This wasn't the girl that I knew, this wasn't who I truly was. So I began to be more positive, seek help with my mental state, I changed my major and got back into my walk with Christ. Though it has only been a few months since I decided to make the change, I have already seen a difference in my life. Even on days where something goes wrong.

After sitting and thinking about what I want to do in the new year I decided that the me who I was in 2017 will NOT be the me I plan to be in 2018.

I plan on leaving all of the negatives that have happened over the course of this year in the past. The people who have walked out of my life, though I do not have any ill will towards them, it is best that they do not make a re-entry into my life. I will not allow myself to let my mental state get back to where it was because I already have come a good way. I will not dwell on the fact that I no longer have a strong passion for my previous major anymore. I refuse to settle for anything anymore.

2018 is the year of new possibilities for me

I promise myself that I will be more self-loving. That I will not degrade my body but instead be uplifting and confident in who I am and if there is a part of me physically that I wish to change then I will find myself at the gym.

I will love my mind and be proud of who I am. I will not seek out all the wrong, I will stay on top of my medications and be a happier and positive person; both body and soul.

I will eat better because my body is a temple and it should be treated as such. I will nourish it with foods that are healthy and will make me feel energized and balanced.

I plan to spend less time stuck behind my phone or computer, unless it is school related, and to get out more. To spend more time outdoors, take my dog on longer walks and trips, go on more adventures no matter how small they may seem.

I will be kind and love my friends and family more. I won't be mean to them or push them away but rather embrace them and let them know that I am truly grateful for all they have done for me because without them I wouldn't be where I am today.

I am excited to start my new journey into my new major, learning more about writing and finally doing something that I love and find solace in. I will focus hard and do well in school. I will put scholarship before social obligations. To strive hard to make good grades and spend more time in the library. That I will not let myself get too stressed with coursework, manage my time more and be more organized.

I am excited that I will be working on my last year of college and by May 2019 I will be a college graduate. I look forward to whatever job opportunity comes my way. Whether that be here in Georgia or all the way out to my dream city, Seattle.

I will cherish the memories and the victories no matter how small. I will surround myself with positive people, and say yes to any opportunity that I can cherish forever. I will forgive the ones who have hurt me and will still have the love for them even though they may not be in my life anymore.

I will continue my walk in my faith and become stronger in the body of Christ. I want to become a God fearing woman who puts all her trust in Him. To believe that he has prosperous plans for me and that I must be patient in all things. I must remind myself to trust in his timing, and that He will reveal things when it is right. I want to walk by faith and not by sight. To tackle any obstacles in faith. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I will learn to take time to myself and to be okay being alone and doing things just for me. will learn to not depend on others for my own happiness because I am in charge of that.

Though I do not regret everything that happened to me in 2017, I will be more than happy to close that chapter of my life. I cannot wait to say goodbye to the girl I was in 2017 and say hello to the girl I will be in 2018.

This new year will be the year that great and amazing things will happen for me because as long as I think that then I know it will happen. Though I do not know what is in store for me, I know as long as I keep my faith and stay humble and positive then I know that I will succeed. Life is a climb, but the view is great.

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