Since I was a teenager, I would spend hours on my phone to use as a distraction to see how others' lives are "better" than mine. I would look to see people smiling in pictures, being around someone they love, whether that would be around family members or a significant other. Also, I would see people post pictures of different places they were traveling to, or mentioning the accomplishments that they have achieved in their lives. But I did not realize that I would also be doing the same thing.

I wonder, why do we only post on social media when there is something good going on in our lives? No one gets to see the secret battles you are going through. Yes, I understand that no one needs to know all of your business. However, is it worth it to pretend to be happy when you are not?

The truth is, I felt like I was posting to gain approval from others. I wanted to see comments of how others were proud of me for doing well in school or see comments of how beautiful I looked, for wearing a dress and makeup to school events. It did not "hurt" me to see many likes when I posted something either. My mom already tells me all of the time that I am beautiful, and that she is proud of me! But why did I feel like that was not enough? It was because I did not believe it myself, and I needed more people to tell me that. Now that I think about it, it is not healthy to depend on others for your own happiness, because you will only be let down.

I am not trying to say that social media is only bad. It is good for keeping in touch with friends and family. But it is time that I take a break from something that will only bring me temporary happiness. I need to find my own happiness, and actually enjoy the company of the people that care about me.