Mourning a pet

Saying Goodbye To My Best Friend, A Dog Named Sir Sir

I never thought that the last bark at the door would be the last time I turned around to smile and say goodbye.

Allyson Kauzlarich

Every time I walked into that house you brought light into the fear. Every time I walked into that house with tears down my face I could feel your tongue greet my face to wipe the sadness away. Every time I waited on those dark brown steps you came up and laid down, sat on my lap, and for 4 hours straight you were there for me to hold onto something to call somewhat comfort.

Dear Sir Sir,

You became my best friend in the times where no one could save me. You became my lifeline through walking in that door to the steps, and to the lonely night of waiting for the "grown-up" to finish his "daily need." I look back now and think of how much you were a gift. I look back to the times where when someone besides me would walk through that door you were one mean dog, but for me, you protected. You found that you needed to be my backbone, and no matter what I needed protection. You were the one true thing that came to my needs and gave me some of what my heart was aching for.

Every time I think back to that day my father walked in the door and told me you passed by some horrible people that were drug dealers my heart breaks. My inner child can't breathe to know I as an adult couldn't say thank you for being there and hug you one last time.

I thank you for the times I didn't know who cared, but you did. I thank you for the times when I felt I had no meaning to anyone or anything, and you came to my rescue. My inner child can't breathe to know that I as an adult couldn't just take you and have you be the dog I adopted and cared for. My inner child can't breathe to know that I as an adult couldn't repay you back by taking care of you because you took care of me. My inner child can't breathe to know that I as an adult I can't just hug you one last time and see your bright white fur and deep brown eyes, to see me as the grown girl and not the one who sat on those steps.

I remember one time I saw this dog during a soccer game and I cried because I thought of you. Any white dog makes me think of you. I remember I hugged this dog so tight to that it was as if it was almost you. I got to shut my eyes and go back to hugging you as that little girl you knew. I know I will see you again soon, but it's hard to know that I couldn't save you when you saved me.

Sir Sir, I love you so very much.


That little girl who has now grown

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