Mourning a pet

Saying Goodbye To My Best Friend, A Dog Named Sir Sir

I never thought that the last bark at the door would be the last time I turned around to smile and say goodbye.

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Every time I walked into that house you brought light into the fear. Every time I walked into that house with tears down my face I could feel your tongue greet my face to wipe the sadness away. Every time I waited on those dark brown steps you came up and laid down, sat on my lap, and for 4 hours straight you were there for me to hold onto something to call somewhat comfort.

Dear Sir Sir,

You became my best friend in the times where no one could save me. You became my lifeline through walking in that door to the steps, and to the lonely night of waiting for the "grown-up" to finish his "daily need." I look back now and think of how much you were a gift. I look back to the times where when someone besides me would walk through that door you were one mean dog, but for me, you protected. You found that you needed to be my backbone, and no matter what I needed protection. You were the one true thing that came to my needs and gave me some of what my heart was aching for.

Every time I think back to that day my father walked in the door and told me you passed by some horrible people that were drug dealers my heart breaks. My inner child can't breathe to know I as an adult couldn't say thank you for being there and hug you one last time.

I thank you for the times I didn't know who cared, but you did. I thank you for the times when I felt I had no meaning to anyone or anything, and you came to my rescue. My inner child can't breathe to know that I as an adult couldn't just take you and have you be the dog I adopted and cared for. My inner child can't breathe to know that I as an adult couldn't repay you back by taking care of you because you took care of me. My inner child can't breathe to know that I as an adult I can't just hug you one last time and see your bright white fur and deep brown eyes, to see me as the grown girl and not the one who sat on those steps.

I remember one time I saw this dog during a soccer game and I cried because I thought of you. Any white dog makes me think of you. I remember I hugged this dog so tight to that it was as if it was almost you. I got to shut my eyes and go back to hugging you as that little girl you knew. I know I will see you again soon, but it's hard to know that I couldn't save you when you saved me.

Sir Sir, I love you so very much.

Sincerely,

That little girl who has now grown

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Growing Up Catholic And How It Shaped Me

"I like being able to believe there is more to life than our time on Earth."

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Ever since I can remember, I have attended church every Sunday morning. Not always at the same church, but always at the same time with all the same people. I've never known anything different.

Both of my parents are Catholic and so are their parents and so on and so forth. I attended religious education classes my whole childhood and when I was 15, I chose to get confirmed which basically says you are choosing to continue your faith.

As a kid, I didn't really understand why we went to church every Sunday and there were some Sundays where I just didn't want to get out of bed to go. When I'm on the verge of not going to mass I tell myself that it is just 1 hour of my time, 1 hour each week and that is all I have to give. Everyone has 1 hour to spare.

Now that I am older, I'm grateful my parents have introduced me to the Catholic Church. I like having something to believe in and being able to have faith. I'm a huge optimist in my daily life and a big part of that is because I trust God's plan for me, whatever happens is with his best intentions for me. I like being able to believe there is more to life than our time on Earth.

It seems that the word "Catholic" has a negative connotation nowadays and that makes me extremely sad. No one should be judged or profiled based on their religion.

Being Catholic to me means always striving to better myself and bring myself closer to God. Being Catholic might mean something else to another person and that's what is great about religion and faith, they affect everyone differently and it is up to you to decide what to do with these 2 things.

At the end of the day, I am grateful for being brought up in the Catholic family I was because it gave me my morals and made me the person I am today, whom I am proud of.

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Poetry on Odyssey: A Lost Writer

Sometimes your best writing comes when you least expect it and when youre in misery. But sometimes it never comes back and your essence slowly diminishes into writers block.

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I am lost. She is lost

Writers block is creating a black cloud in my brain

And my fingers can't seem to think freely like they used to

My writing is my livelihood but I haven't had a time to

Introduce my poetry to the new me

She used to write from the abyss of emptiness she felt

A place so dark, darkness itself doesn't dare go in

And it's not like that place is gone

It's not like she could tell her new self to forget and reconstruct

Because from that place, she was born

She lifted herself from the ashes of the paper she burnt

Because she didn't deem it good enough

Because she didn't deem herself good enough

But her self-esteem only lifted her to the point of living

But never feeling alive

So she would spill her guts on the paper

Her beating heart dripped of red ink

And for those few pages, she was alive

But that part of her has slowly whittled

She tries to enjoy the little things now

To make an effort to go out with friends and leave the house

However, the constant moving and refusal to go back

Has left her in an empty abyss within her own writing

A place so empty of words that the silence is deafening

I am happy. She is complicated

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