The world is burning.

In the eyes of California children, this perspective is justified. According to the LA Times, "the scope and scale of damage is among some of the worst from wildfires in state history." This has affected several of my friends.

The world is drowning.

The floods from Hurricane Maria have left Puerto Rico in devastation with "three-quarters of the residents... still without power" over a month after the hurricane hit the islands. This has affected my small group leader's family.

The world is suffering.

The largest mass shooting in United States history happened less than a month ago. With "58 people... killed" and roughly 500 people injured, it sends shivers through me to think this happened fifteen minutes from my house. This has affected my hometown.

These are events from just the last month. Dozens of more examples of horrifying situations from the last nearly two decades of my own life could be listed, and that would not even scratch a dent into the global crises which have occurred for hundreds and even thousands of years. There is so much evil in this world.

Where is God? My heart fills with anger at the injustice of what happens here on earth every day. This anger is not necessarily directed at God but rather at my sense of incapability to do anything to prevent what happened in these previous scenarios. I listen to the pain of those around me who are suffering in their own worlds, and they call out for God, wondering where He is.

Here I am - addressing my own doubts as a follower of Jesus, which I don't think Christians do often enough. Yes, even those who have professed a desire to follow Jesus doubt His presence at times. I want to be a transparent writer; I do not write the words from my heart to boast but rather to empathize out loud with those who feel this same sense of hopelessness. David, a man after God's own heart, had his doubts too; his came in the form of Psalms. In this sense, I feel comforted knowing that I am not the first to vocalize my doubts of God's presence in a public setting. Specifically, I find solace in David's Psalm 13, in which he addresses his own despair at not knowing where God is in hard times.

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

And day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?"

I resonate deeply with David's search for God in the midst of darkness. I am sure that many of my fellow believers have these same thoughts in their hearts and long for God's presence. You are not alone.

In the midst of turmoil

and pain,

fires, hurricanes

and chaos,

Why can I not see You?

I don't feel You near;

My heart cries out:

Are You there?

This is not the end; these are only the words of an imperfect human who struggles with her doubts on a daily basis. Please check back next week for my follow-up article on God's presence. To leave you with a glimmer of hope, God is here. His presence is evident. His love is everlasting.