“Thank you God for ___.” “Thank you God and Jesus so, so much for ____.”

All day, every day, I thank God for blessings. Blessings that I don't deserve.

I say God’s name in vain, telling myself I won’t say it again.

“Did you see how much weight he gained? He used to be so fit.”

I reflect on how I may have told someone a bit of information that I wasn’t supposed to let slip out. I tell myself it won’t happen again.

“I work way too many hours for this amount of pay. I’m sick of this job. I deserve more.”

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. Romans 6:14.

I wake up every day in an air conditioned, furnished room. I have a beautiful, exceptional family that I couldn’t live without. Yet I go against the word of God. I am healthy. I breathe on my own and I can walk. I still ignore God’s voice. I beam with excitement when I view that 100% test grade. I put God on the back burner again. Why is this? Why do I do this? For weeks at a time I focus on the Earthly things. I worry about what I cannot control and I feed my flesh. My Spirit is famished and parched, yearning for growth. I hear God’s voice. A warning burns within my soul. I go to the scripture, I see its warning in bold print.

Isaiah 1:19-20 If you will only obey me, you will have plenty to eat. But if you turn away and refuse to listen, you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies. I, the Lord, have spoken!”

Even after absorbing the word of God, my flesh still tries to overpower my soul.

I ask myself, why am I constantly blessed if I always fall short of God? He gives me so much, yet sometimes I go against him.

I never realized how powerful and evil sin can be until I let God’s message slip in one ear and out the other.

I feel physically sick when this happens. I am a God-fearing man, and I know something is not right, yet I make those decisions. I am fulfilled for a mere moment, then left empty. My soul is weak, my mind is in disorder and tears fill my eyes.

There’s gossip, greed, lust, and rage. There are also many more sinful paths I am tempted to take.

Sometimes I take those paths.

When I give in to sin, it seems like there is a drought in my soul. I feel dry and cracked, full of sorrow and honestly full of wickedness.

Yet, God still blesses me. He never ceases to remind me that he,is the only one who will be able to give us exactly what we need, and should want. God and Jesus know and understand Sin and temptation more than any of us. After all, God sent his one and only Son to pay the ultimate price, so we may be forgiven of our trespasses against him.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. Ephesians 1:7.

God is the ultimate provider. Nothing of this earth will ever be comparable with his glory. It is so easy to be caught up in what we want or what decision we have to make. We must look around and really realize and thank the ultimate creator for what he has given us, despite how we have acted towards him.

There are countless blessings in my life, and I realize I don’t deserve a majority of them. I don’t question it, I only realize that God has grace, even when we sin.