Stop settling for friends who don't try.
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Adulting

It's Time To Stop Being The Friend Who Always Goes The Extra Mile And Never Gets Anything In Return

My desire to see someone I haven't spoken to in a while is extremely low.

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It's Time To Stop Being The Friend Who Always Goes The Extra Mile And Never Gets Anything In Return
Grace Kinnicutt

This is going to sound harsh but stop being the friend who goes the extra mile with people who don't try – especially your friends who always have some kind of excuse each time you ask them to hang out when you're back in town from college or during the summer. Yes, I get it, people can be busy and tired from work because I know I am but I always try and make it a point to hang with my close friends at least a few times during the summer.

And no, that doesn't mean I don't do it because I do. But here's the thing, I have always been the person who contacts my friends first to see if they have free time to hang, especially my close friends. And when I don't, I'll go weeks to a month without them even trying or even hearing from them. And when I do, it's just a text saying "Let's hang." Like, yes I would love to but my desire to even see you, let alone talk to you is pretty low considering you haven't tried even a little.

If your current best friends are not giving you even half the energy, why try? I don't expect to see my friends every day or to text me every day but all I ask for is that both of us try to make plans with each other. Even if that means we have to figure out a day months in advance.

There are friends I don't see for months or even a year yet as soon as they or I am in town, we make plans ASAP because we both want to make time for each other. And then there are those friends who try and make me feel guilty as to why we haven't hung. My response to them is, "I've tried multiple times and texted and ask when you are free even for a quick visit. But, you kept giving me an excuse or just did not respond so the ball is now in your court so figure it out yourself."

Just like a relationship with a significant other, friendships require time and energy to keep them alive. And if you have friends who refuse to acknowledge that they don't try with you to keep the friendship going, stop trying.

I'm serious, stop making certain friends a priority if they aren't making you one.

When you stop trying with certain friends, you realize how much more you were willing to give. Friendships are more than hanging out. You don't have to be around your friends all the time, text them all the time, etc., but both people in the friendship need to work together to make even the smallest amount of time work to talk, see each other, etc.

Just like relationships, when it comes to friendships do not settle for less than what you deserve. You deserve friends who don't make you guilty to why you haven't hung out, friends who reciprocate your energy in the friendship, friends who also try and it's not always you trying.

You deserve a friend who is willing to give and receive just like you are in the friendship.

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