I ask them, “why not?” and then I received the lecture.
Yes, I know they are primarily worn by men. Yes, I realize that it may be a Wednesday and I have no apparent reason to have one on. Yes, I know that I may not be wearing a collared shirt. No, I don’t think that means I am “wearing it wrong.”
The problem I have with explaining this to other people is the fact that they feel it has to be explained. If I started wearing skirts, the only reason people would start questioning it is because my hatred for skirts is well-known by my friends and family. Otherwise, skirts seem like a perfectly acceptable, feminine clothing option that the normal stranger wouldn’t question if they saw me wearing. Yet I have had strangers – even teachers – approach me and ask why I am wearing a tie. So allow me to set the record straight.
Although ties are most commonly linked to suits, they are capable of representing much more. The main reason that ties have always been related to men is because they represent professionalism and authority. These are traits that are a part of higher-ranking roles that many women don’t have access to.
When you ask me why I am wearing a tie, it’s almost like you’re asking me why I am trying to look authoritative. And the fact that you are asking this makes it sound as if, because I am a woman, I shouldn’t be trying to put on an air of authority or professionalism – as if I should be leaving the business to the men.
I’ve got some pretty bad news for you: I’m going to take the business from the men. I’m going to prove that women can have higher-ranking jobs. I’m going to get a higher education, make a high salary, and have people working under me. I wonder if, after all that, people will still ask me why I am wearing a tie.
Lastly, and probably the biggest reason I wear them: I like them. I don’t care if you think it looks weird – saying that to me isn’t going to make me want to take it off. It’s likely that I could just as easily criticize something you have on so how about we save some time and just let each other dress the way we want to?
Being questioned for this singular article of clothing makes me sympathize with the individuals that dress differently than expected in more extreme ways. If I get weird glaces and questions from one, little tie and it frustrates me, I can't imagine how it would feel to have an even larger expression of who I was being met with even more backlash. It's from personal experiences such as these that I make it a personal goal to be as supportive of any form of self-expression as I possibly can. And I'm willing to bet that if you thought about it hard enough, you could think of something in your life that, like my tie, is a small part of a much larger issue faced by many individuals.
