I suppose my mind always envisioned it like the movies. Like a modern-day young Ryan Gosling would jump atop a moving Ferris wheel just to get the chance to talk to you. He would hang on to the bar with a single hand, daring to let go unless you agreed to one single date. A date. I'm beginning to wonder if our culture still knows what that is.
Sure, maybe the grand Ferris wheel moment is reserved for a Nicholas Sparks film set in the 1940s, but the idea behind the gesture is what we are completely missing. The idea of a boy seeing a girl and thinking, "Wow, I really want to get to know her."
In 2019, the majority of relationships or "things" were brought together by an app on which you judge a span of random people based solely on their looks. A photo. That's all you see. You're presented with a shot of some person meeting your age or distance settings and you decide right then and there, yes or no. Left or right. Maybe this person doesn't exactly have the hair color you desire, or maybe you don't like their glasses or the way they smile. But maybe this person also volunteers four nights a week at the soup kitchen, or is a state champion in basketball, or got a perfect score on their SAT, or is a down-to-earth Christian, or is the most loving big brother in the world, or has a heart of gold. I guess we'll never know. Swipe right, swipe left.
There is something so fundamentally wrong to me about telling your grandchildren one day that you met your husband on Tinder. I can just imagine it now:
"Well, kids, it all started when your grandfather slid into my DM's."
I don't know about you, but that's not the story I want to tell. I want my Ferris wheel story. I want someone to look at me and think about everything else I am beside pretty. I want someone to invite me to a coffee shop before they invite me to their room. I want something real.
The thing about our Ferris wheel stories is that we have to wait for them.
I think young people today find that to be the most difficult thing to do. Wait. Modern day American culture is exceptionally fast-paced. It's one thing to the next constantly. Sometimes we might forget that there are certain things we can take our time with. Because everyone deserves their grand and extravagant story. Everyone deserves to be loved for all that they are. Every single good and bad quality inside them. I know it seems like that won't come for you, but it will. We're just looking in the wrong places.
And oftentimes, your story comes when you aren't looking at all. When you are completely preoccupied with chasing your own dreams and building your own future, living for your own self. Because that's the most important building block of loving somebody someday.
You have to choose yourself first.