Anyone who has been in a relationship knows, male or female, that sometimes girls get a little jealous. And by a little, I mean that we can kind of be psycho for no reason. You’re jealous of the girl in his chemistry class and you’re not entirely sure why. You’re jealous of the girl who smiles at him when she passes and it just makes it ten times worse that he waves back. You’re jealous of his ex-girlfriend, the one who broke his heart and is now so irrelevant. You’re jealous of his friends who are girls. And most of these jealousies are so irrational that they aren’t even worth writing an article about.
He entertains your petty jealousy and makes jokes because he cannot even fathom how you think he would leave YOU for HER. But then, there’s the girl that you’re jealous of for no reason other than a gut feeling. It’s just the way he looks at her, the way he talks about her and defends her. You feel like you can’t even make a joke about her outfit without him telling you to stop being so petty, stop being mean. So, you worry. But they’re really “just friends” and he constantly tells you not to worry about her. She’s the girl he always told you not to worry about.
Maybe he genuinely meant it. Maybe he really didn’t want you to worry about her because he really didn’t see what you saw: he would say, “I’m pretty sure she’s gay," “She’s seeing someone,” and “She’s not even that pretty.” And he meant it, that’s not his fault. But I want you to know that you aren’t crazy, she’s not crazy. Other people can see things about you better than you know. Sometimes we feel things that we just haven’t realized yet. So when he told you not to worry about her he meant it, he wasn’t aware of the feelings that you were seeing.
So now you’re broken up, for more reasons than just your jealousy. And she’s there for him because he’s really broken up. He misses you and he needs a friend. She does that for him. And eventually he’s okay and you’re over him and that chapter of your life is closed. Then a couple months later you get a text in your group chat. “Isn’t that her?” She’s the one he told you not to worry about. They were holding hands walking to class, or maybe she was wearing his hoodie. No matter how you know, you know. You were right all along.
It’s funny honestly. You can’t help but laugh. Because you really couldn’t care less but you were right and it feels kind of good. To know that all those fights, you won. And yes, there are no winners or losers in relationships. It’s no longer a relationship though, there’s nothing at stake if you’re petty. You almost want him to text you and admit that he was wrong. You want his omission of guilt. Just a, “Hey yeah, so all those times you were jealous, well I guess you were right.” No apology though, he doesn’t owe you that. It’s just nice to know that, while you were slightly psycho regarding most things, you were justified in that.
Eventually, the comedy of the whole situation wears off. You aren’t sad but it almost feels like a betrayal. He knew her the whole time you dated. You made nice with her because they were friends and you cared about him. You cared what his friends thought of you even if you didn’t think so highly of them.
I’m sitting here trying to think of a guy who didn’t date their friend that they said not to worry about. My friend’s exes are more specifically in the back of my mind while I write. I can’t think of an ex who didn’t move on with the girl he told my friend not to worry about. That’s okay, but when your girlfriend tells you that she’s jealous, that she feels like you care about this girl, listen. When you get that gut feeling that there’s something more there, listen. You’re not crazy, at least not all the time.
