To The Girl Who Couldn’t Wait To Go, But Isn’t Quite Ready To Leave

To The Girl Who Couldn’t Wait To Go, But Isn’t Quite Ready To Leave

Be open and receptive to the change that is about to happen.

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With the countdown until moving into college looming closer, it is easy to be filled with a mixture of emotions. On one hand, college is something you have looked forward to since your first day of high school. You worked for four years trying to be successful to reach the goal of going away for school.

You had thoughts of, "Wow, I wish I could just leave for college, and escape this town." But, now that move-in day is getting closer, you are left with an uneasy feeling. Even though you have been looking forward to this day for as long as you can remember, there's a sense of fear that comes with leaving.

Leaving for college can be scary. There is a fear of the unknown; change is scary. I remember before I left for college my first year, I had this overwhelming feeling of knowing my whole life was going to change and there was a level of vulnerability of it being totally out of my control. I wouldn't want to acknowledge that I wasn't quite ready to leave because I had always been the girl who looked forward to going away to college.

I put off packing for school just because, as dramatic as it sounds, the thought of "packing my whole life into boxes" was too daunting to face, and I was scared. It is scary to not know what to expect, but it so worth taking that leap of faith and putting everything you have into leaving. What I have found is that yes, my life changed but there are some things in your life that remain constant.

You still have the support of your family and friends, and if anything, your support system only grows when you meet people at college. I understand not wanting to go, but when we let this fear control us, we are left in a state of complacency that we did not want for ourselves from the very beginning. I think by welcoming this change and remembering all the reasons you are going away to college makes leaving that much easier.

The key to letting go of the fear of leaving is to realize it's not permanent. You have to remember that your home will always be there. Sure, some things will change or a restaurant you love will close, but the majority of what you know and love will still be there when you get back. You also will gain an appreciation for the things that drove you crazy before. I remember I used to hate how life at home never changes, but once I left for school I began to appreciate the consistency that I once couldn't stand. You are allowing yourself to grow when you leave for college.

Take the remaining weeks you have before you move-in and really take time to appreciate what you have. Someday, in the near future, your life will change. Instead of dreading and fearing the change, choose to embrace it. Choose to go and explore a new life at college. Embracing the period of growth that you are fortunate enough to have will only benefit you in the future. Before you know it, it will be time to return home and you will be stuck wondering if you are ready to go back to the place you once feared leaving.

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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