When You Only Have A Few Close Friends In College

To The Girl With A Few Close Friends, Quality Beats Quantity Any Day, Sister

I'd rather have my few best friends than a bunch of people who barely know me.

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We've all likely heard the phrase "quality over quantity" — having a few close friends is better than having several that you're not as close with. It's hard to believe when you can count your close friends on less than one hand and the feeling of loneliness settles in more often than you'd like.

Being an introvert has made it difficult for me to make friends and be open with people, so I've never been the girl that has a ton of friends. In middle and high school, I went through quite a few friends, so by the time I graduated, that number had whittled down to two as I was betrayed by some and simply lost communication with others. Thankfully, college has brought me to some really good people. But in regard to those who I consider my best friends, who I talk to all the time and confide in, that number is still really low.

It's all too easy to compare your life to others and see all the ways in which you've "fallen short." I know that compared to other college students, I virtually have no friends. Sometimes, it makes me feel inadequate like I'm "supposed" to have lots of friends and I've failed to do something other people my age can easily do. There are times it really blows, like when they all have other plans so that automatically means I don't.

Even though it's not always easy or desirable to have such a small circle, it has its benefits. I'm super close with all my friends: we know everything about each other and confide in one another. I know that anytime I need them, they'll be there. They're all meaningful in their own way and my friends mean the world to me.

Though other people may have more friends than myself, I know that they're missing out on close, meaningful friendships. I'd rather have my few best friends than a bunch of people who barely know me. Though it's not always easy, I know that having a few close friends is something worthwhile, that "quality over quantity" is actually true.

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10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
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College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

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My Ex-Best Friend Didn't Even Consider Me That

It's the little things that make you start to realize someone's true colors.

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Sometimes it's hard to see someone for who they truly are; we always want to see people the way we want to see them.

One of the hardest things for me was realizing that the girl I thought was my best friend was in fact not. No matter how much I tried to make excuses for her actions, in the back of my mind it never made sense to me. I was never treated with the same respect that I gave. Whenever I did something she did something or said something she did not agree with, it was taken note of. Whenever I was dating someone she didn't like, I was given attitude and experienced passive aggression.

When we were out with a group of friends having fun, she would make it a point to be rude and act as if she was having a horrible time, which would certainly dampen the mood. Again, I continually would make excuses for her and act like everything was okay - but it most definitely wasn't okay.

When she wanted to stop being friends, at first I was very torn up about it; felt as if my world was falling apart for a little while. How could someone who was my best friend not want to be friends all of a sudden, over something so minor? As cliché as it sounds, I thought true friends were for forever, no matter at what cost.

You would think, we are adults, we can fix things in an adult manner. I tried reaching out for a bit and even asked other friends for advice. Little did I know that this would not matter one bit in my life now.

If I could tell myself the things I know now, back then, I would tell myself not to grieve. I would tell myself that this will not matter in the least bit to my life in the long run. I would tell myself that I have other best friends that are one-hundred percent more deserving of my love, time, and dedication to them - far more than this person who has no relevance to me whatsoever now.

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