To The Boy Who Treated Me Like A Back-up Plan

Breakups suck, but when you don't have to do it alone it's not as bad. However, if you choose to pick up the pieces with someone who is maybe a little more than a friend, it can be hard and confusing. What's even MORE confusing is when you're both trying to heal.

We would hang out, like a lot. We talked all the time, facetimed at night, and we were always there for each other. We made long drives to visit each other, and I guess I started to fall for him. He didn't feel the same in the end, I guess. And I'm okay with that now, but I wasn't for a while.

He started talking to a new girl, which was pretty common during the time we spent "talking", and I wasn't sure it was going anywhere. He always got a little distant, but it was never serious. But this time, it was like night and day. I would get "streaks" and little to nothing else. He tried to stay a good friend and call to "check" on me, but it was always late, when your new girlfriend had already gone to bed. We went from talking 24/7 to hardly anything.

I was hurt. I always felt like I was a second choice for him. His fall back in case his new Tinder find didn't work out and for a while I went with it because it didn't feel like anything special. But then I started to fall for him, and he went a different way. I miss hanging out like we used to (as friends, you know), but I realize we might not be able to go back to that, and that's okay. I still care, but I'm glad we both moved on. I also learned that I should always feel like a priority. I shouldn't feel that pit in my stomach wondering how you feel.

So, thank you, I guess, for the lesson. I'm not happy you hurt my heart. I hope she makes you happy, because I know I'm way happier where I am now than I thought I was back then.