Getting Over Seven Months Part 2
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Getting Over Seven Months Part 2

After 5 months of break-up drama, now what?

24
Getting Over Seven Months Part 2
Dallis Blackburn

For several months I've had somewhat of a hard time. Letting go of your first love is a lot harder than it looks. I finally reached a point, however, that I was done being pulled in every direction, lied to, used, and betrayed.

I am so angry and most of all I am disappointed in the person I thought he was. Truth is, he turned into what everyone warned me about. He proved every allegation placed against him and then some, but he never saw where he was wrong. He used excuses like they were legitimate reasons and when I wasn't looking he was doing exactly what he was making me feel guilty for doing myself.

This is not all to say that I have been perfect because I haven't been. I've been ugly, called him names and took my pure anger out on him when I should have just blocked him all along. I guess I just wasn't strong enough. I still had a shrivel of hope.

To have all hope stripped away it leaves you feeling bare and vulnerable. I didn't want to accept the fact that this is indeed over, even though I had plenty of people trying to reassure me that I deserved better and that if he really loved me he wouldn't have left in the first place.

As a young woman who is pursuing God the best she knows how, I have fallen short of what I know he expects from me so many times, because of this guy. I must've known this relationship would never work (if nothing else) because of this fact. This is not to say it's all his fault, because it isn't. I knowingly went along with it because I felt like that's what a true loving relationship is about. I was wrong, and that should've been obvious at the time, but like i think we all know when you're up close to something it may look like one thing, but when you are standing farther away you suddenly can see the truth of what it is. Now, five months later, six days before what would've been our first year anniversary i see what a sham the relationship really was.

To a certain degree I believe the love between us was real. At this point, however, I just don't know how to look back and feel about him as I did in the relationship. That's arguably a reason why it wasn't "real". Anyways, I'm getting off topic,

Right now, I am at a point where I am trying to decide where to go from here. I thought i had it figured out before but obviously, that wasn't the case because I was still letting him emotionally effect me. Do I forgive him and move on with my life, or do I try to forget the thought or being of "us" altogether? One aspect is painful and emotional, and the other is a colder approach where I will probably be unsuccessful most of the time.

I don't really believe you should forget your bad relationships or I suppose in this case it was more of a bad break-up. Simply because these bad experiences are lessons learned for the future. If I myself choose to forget him or the break-up completely then what am i really learning from that experience? It may be hard, or even take a while to forgive him, but forgetting would just not be enough. I personally think we should all learn to forgive the ones who hurt us because they are the ones who make us into the people we are. They make us stronger and more aware of the kind of people we shouldn't be involved with.

I am a little lost, but I know I will be better off.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

40401
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

115380
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments