We all make excuses, especially when it comes to asking for or accepting help. Why not seek help? Counseling can be the greatest blessing if you just give it a chance. Even if you’re not comfortable with counseling, seeking help from friends and family can have some of the same benefits. Open up. Needing help isn't a sign of weakness. It's okay to ask for help, so stop making excuses.
1. “It won’t help.”
How do you know that it won’t help? Have you even given it a chance? Counseling has done wonders for many people, including me. You never know what will happen if you don’t try. Open up to a friend or a family member. Check out a counseling center nearby.
2. “I’m fine.”
If you’re saying that, you’re most likely not fine. If you tell yourself that you’re fine over and over again, you will eventually start to believe it; but even when you believe it, that doesn’t make it true. I continually told myself, and others, that I was fine until I thought it was true. Looking back, I knew I wasn't fine in the beginning of all that I went through, so I had to lie to myself, pretending that what was happening and what I was doing was OK.
3. “I’ll be fine eventually.”
Yes, some things heal with time, but not all things! Getting help can get you where you need to be. I used to respond to, “Are you okay?” by saying, “No, but I will be.” Honestly, if I hadn't gone to counseling and opened up about my struggles, I would still be the mess that I was beforehand.
4. “No one cares anyways.”
How do you know that no one cares? Have you even told anyone about your struggles? You can’t know how someone feels about your struggles/situation if you don’t tell him or her what’s going on in your life. Think about this: If even ONE person cares, you can't say that no one cares. You also can't say that no one cares if no one knows about your struggles!
5. “Everyone feels like this.”
Even if “everyone” feels the way you do, it doesn’t mean you should feel that way. I’ve learned that not everyone feels the way you do, but some actually do. It’s nice to realize that you’re not alone, but you need to know that your shared struggles are not normality.
6. “This is just normal/comfortable for me.”
It shouldn’t be! There was a time in your life before your struggles. Think back to that time. You thought life before the hardships was perfectly normal. Constantly struggling shouldn’t be a new normal for you. It shouldn't be comfortable. You should want happiness.
7. “I’ll get help tomorrow/another day.”
Will you, though? I’ve made this excuse plenty of times. If you say this, you’ll probably keep saying it every single day—putting it off daily instead of actually doing it. I put it off for the longest time. Eventually, I was forced into counseling, and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Don't wait. Just do it.
8. “It’s just a one-time thing. It won’t happen again.”
One-time things can turn habitual, especially when it comes to things that are harmful to you. These one-time acts will most likely turn into daily habits... an addiction. I’ve used this excuse too many times. Truth is—these kinds of things are hard to stop without help. If I hadn’t gotten the help I needed, I would still be struggling today.
9. “It’s not hurting anyone else.”
If the people closest to you know about your struggles, it is most definitely hurting them, too. Reflecting back on the hard times I’ve had, I talked to some of my closest friends about what I dealt with. It wasn’t until then that I learned how hard those times were for them as well. The ones who love you don’t want to see you struggle. They want to see you thrive. Your hurt is their hurt, too.
10. “No one else knows, so I don’t have to stop.”
If you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing, you need to stop. Stop whether or not anyone knows about it. Getting help is for your own benefit, not for the benefit of others. What you’re doing is destroying you. You can make your own decisions. Get the help you need; the help you deserve.
