I was born a female, and I’ve identified as a female my whole life. Lucky me. Because some people aren’t as lucky. For some people, gender is confusing and frustrating. It can be scary and shameful.

I was raised in a very conservative Christian home, school, and church. There were only two genders, male and female: the lines were clearly drawn. And then… I grew up. I burst out of my private school bubble and met people who weren’t like me. People I was taught to fear. And, at first, I was scared. In fact, I was a little disgusted. But there was a still small voice in my heart calling me to love them. Calling me to befriend them. Not to preach to them or “fix” them. And when I did that something amazing happened… I started to see transgender and LGBTQ people as just that…people. As human beings with the same rights, hopes, and fears as me and you.

I am a Christian and I have been criticized for being too tolerant. For calling a biological female ‘he” because that is how he identified. I was chastised for calling a gender fluid person “they.” Why? Why do I choose to do that? Because I strongly believe that by calling someone their preferred pronoun actually pushes that person away from God. And isn’t that the exact opposite of why we’re here? When we approach a person with a closed mind and a cold heart, that’s how they will respond. But when we connection with a person with an open mind and a kind heart, they might actually hear us when we share the Gospel with them.

If you truly want to show an unbeliever the love of God, why aren’t you treating them with the love of Christ that won you over with? Did you get saved by someone calling you delusional and unnatural? That you’re going to hell because of who you love? No. We get saved through grace and grace alone. Fear can never bring about true salvation.

"Hate the sin, love the sinner," doesn't work. We, as humans, can't separate the two. People say there's a difference in respecting gay people and accepting their sin. But I disagree. They will not feel respected unless we accept them just as they are. When I was struggling with promiscuity, marijuana, etc.,I didn't need friends who said "I love you, but I hate what you're doing." Because when we are in that place of desperation and hopelessness, we identify with our sin. We feel that we are our mistakes. So when you tell us that our actions are bad, you're really telling us that WE are bad. The best friends I've had, the ones who helped me through those dark times, were the ones who accepted me for who I was right then. Not for who I used to be or for who I could be, or for what I was or was not doing. That's conditional love. Us "sinners" need your unconditional love...anything less than that is just hurtful and fraudulent.

Now, I’m not proclaiming that gender and sexuality issues are or are not a sin. Because that’s not my job. My one and only job on this planet is to love relentlessly and recklessly. Because isn’t that the kind of love Jesus showed us?