We are living in a day and age when being sassy is fun and praised, but most of us aren't that quick with comebacks. Here are some of my favorite comebacks for any occasion! Keep these stored in your head and use them when necessary my young Padawan and godspeed.
1. "You sour melon"
Not only are you calling them a fruit, it is a less known and liked fruit, and IT'S SOUR. Its not even a good version of the lesser known fruit!
2. "Do I know you?"
This one has to be done immediately, like the second they open their mouth, "I'm sorry do I know you?" You need to be sincere, just really pull together all your acting skills, and say it like you genuinely have never met them before in your life.
3. Call them a fat Kelly Price.
Beware this could get you catfished for three years by your cousin.
4. "You must be confused, I'm a person not a mirror."
This one is best for personal insults, like if they came for your appearance or your life. Feel free to add onto this by dragging them into next weekend.
5. "Does that make you feel like a man now?"
This one can definitely be used on any gender, sex, preference, or whateva. Because it implies they were never a man, nor were they even a good one, like Captain America.
6. "Are you OK? Did you strain yourself?"
This is best if someone comes for you with a mediocre insult. Like you can tell they were just trying to hurt you and it wasn't really a thought out insult. Push it one step further by looking up the nearest psychiatrist and recommend it to the person.
7. "Who hurt you?"
With this you can find out who hurt them and made them a bully and it also shows that you know they're messed up and there's nothing they can do about it.
8. "I know you are, but what am I?"
Coined by someone that probably isn't Bart Simpson, this is the oldest line in the book, you can't go wrong with it.
9. "That's not nice?"
I don't know why but this one really works to make people reevaluate themselves, which is always fun.
10. "I don't get paid enough for this."
"No, seriously, I get paid $8.25 a hour. This isn't worth it to me."
11. "I'm sorry for you."
If they are trying to pick a fight with you, shame them. Make them regret it. Your comebacks are too good for anyone to try you and get away with it.
12. Give them the look.
Giphy
Practice this one in the mirror. I prefer to first roll my eyes and then scowl in disgust, it really shows how much you dislike them and the words coming out of their butt mouth. This is best paired with a dramatic hair flip as you walk away.
13. When all else fails be nice!
Kill them with kindness. Maybe add a little passive aggression to make it fun ;)
