You’ve probably heard the quote “people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime” before. It’s an incredibly simple yet insightful summary of the changes that we experience with our friendships over time.
I do believe that some people in my life are there for a reason, others for a season and a select few for a lifetime. Although it may not be clear in the moment, hindsight is 20/20 and over time I can begin to find where each role has been fulfilled.
For a reason
This is that big teaching moment. It may have lasted only six months or maybe 10 years, but this is the friendship that leaves you with a greater understanding of the world and yourself.
For me, these are the friends who have pushed me to realize a change that needs to take place. It usually is not the most pleasant, but after each one has ended I have come to realize things about myself that I had not been aware of before.
Teaching moments like these have been some of the hardest times of my life. They’re times when my greatest insecurities have come to fruition and pushed me to either accept certain parts of myself or buckle down and get working to grow into the best version of myself that I can be.
For a season
These are the people who may not last forever, but make it great while it's there. Whether they were my playground buddy on the first day of kindergarten or my partner at freshman orientation, these are the ones who have made it great while it lasted.
These friendships almost never end badly but eventually come to a close one way or another. They’re light and fun and are exactly what you need at that moment.
However, as we grow our needs change and so do our relationships. It’s perfectly normal to outgrow a friend, it happens all the time. But remember, we’ll always have the memories we created with them which will stay with us long after it’s over.
For a lifetime
My lifetime friends will be my bridesmaids. They will be at my baby shower, and possibly my nursing home when I retire (fingers crossed.) They’re nearly impossible to come by, but once found it’s obvious that they’ll be in it for the long haul.
My lifetime friends are the ones with whom I have laughed and cried the hardest and who know me better than just about anyone else. The connection that lifetime friends share is one that is envied by many and cherished by the few who hold it.
But it’s more complicated than that...
Just like anything in life, friendships are not so easily cut into three distinct types. One can evolve and change into another at any time.
All friendships go through hard times, sometimes seemingly completely lost and too far gone for recovery. What you put into something is what you get out of it.
Ultimately, it’s up to you as to whether certain people stay in your life or not and which role they will finally fill.
