Failure at Friendship

Failure at Friendship

My cousin is my best friend, and I'm okay with that.
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In elementary school you think your friendships will last forever, but sometimes they don't. You get older, your interests change and your friendships fade away. You may not understand why but it's often for the greater good.

I see so many posts from girls that I've known since elementary school who are still friends, maybe they got lucky, or I just wasn't. I've never had a friendship last more than five years. Recently, it's only taken a few months for people to fade out of my life, almost as quickly as they arrived. This summer I had a slight realization that brought me to tears in front of my parents, was I the issue?

But after a lot of thinking, I realized that I'm not. I found out that having a strong personality that you don't change for others is almost unheard of nowadays. Conforming to others to fit in is not what I want to do to have friends. I want friends that support me and my goals in life. I want friends who encourage my personality however annoying I may be at times. I want friends like my cousin.

Yes, she may have an obligation to like me because we're family but she is the strongest friendship I've had in my entire life. One time we didn't talk for six months, but we forgave each other. We both dated idiot boys that the other didn't approve of, but now we both realize that the other was right and we should have listened to them and we wouldn't have wasted our time. The reason why I want more friends like her is because one minute we will be having a serious conversation about school work and how classes are going and then the next we'll be talking about how my future child needs to call her "gawd mutha" (thick Boston accent) and crying laughing about how stupid we looked on spirit day in 2013 and how we ever showed our faces at the high school again. She may get mad at me, she may hold a grudge, and she may make bad decisions but she supports me and doesn't flea.

We share a bond through family that can never be taken away, but we also have a strong friendship that only can become stronger with age. We know everything that has ever happened to each other, there are no secrets. When something happens in my life, she is the first person I call. When our grandmother passed away in 2015, the first question I asked my mom was "Does she know?" and when she said yes I told her that I just needed to talk to my cousin. We then spent hours crying and telling our favorite stories about Gram. Nobody but her knew what I was going through at that time, and I needed a friend that was also family in order to understand my pain and she needed the same.

I've had five "best friends" in my life, and I'm proud to say that my cousin is the only one that stuck around. Thank you for being the greatest person in the world.

Cover Image Credit: findmotivationtoday.com

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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An Open Letter To the friend Who left us too soon

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost."

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It's been two years...two years without you. These past two years have felt like I've been living in slow motion. I'm not going to lie and say that everyone's okay. It was a hard thing to go through, and it left us all scarred. At first, I didn't know if those who were left behind would be okay. You left us way too soon, and you had so much more life left to live.

Everyone was crying, even those who we didn't talk to. I think they felt bad for us, they couldn't possibly imagine the pain we were feeling. The teachers even moved the seats around, so we weren't staring at your chair. The hardest thing to go through was the announcement our principal gave that Monday. Teachers told us stories of how they dealt with the pain of losing a friend way back when, and of how they handled the loss of former students. None of it seemed real. The teachers had us draw pictures, sign boards, and anything else they could think of to distract our minds for the fifty-five minute class periods.

It was unexpected. It was almost as if we were all in a state of shock and confusion. I am not going to lie and say that we were the best group of friends or the best support system because we looked out for ourselves more than we did each other. It was hard to go through, and at times it's still hard. It takes time to heal, and boy did it take some time. Because of you, our friend group grew so close together, during those first few weeks. We learned how to lean on each other. We learned how important it is to have people who care. We learned how much it mattered to tell people that you love them. We learned how to let go and let God. We learned the importance of friendship.

However, we all coped with the loss differently.

It was almost as if we were constantly merging in and out of each other's lives.

We were angry, upset, confused, and at a loss for words.

You never truly know the impact someone has on your life until they are gone. I understand that God wouldn't have put us through this loss if we couldn't have handled it. It was your time to go home, and that was just something we all had to accept.

With time, it became easier. We learned to adjust to the new life we were forced to live. Eventually, it was our time to walk across that field and accept our diplomas. It was so weird to not have you there, this should have been a big day for all of us. They had a chair sitting out, just for you, decorated in red-and-black tiger tails and flowers.

I will never forget how much fun you made English, or how much you made me laugh when I was mad. Sometimes, I see a blue butterfly that reminds me of you, and it reminds me that you're in a better place. I'm happy that you are safe now. I'm happy that you are happy now. I'm happy that you are up there with God and some of your family, that you haven't seen in a while, now. You made such a huge impact on my life and so many others in our town, and I will always be grateful to you for that. I can't wait to see you someday in heaven.

Cover Image Credit:

Madison Skinner

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