College is the beginning of many new things in life, many of them positive.
You get to reinvent yourself, make new friends and finally start working towards your career.
But college is also a time where you start to realize that maybe hitting the gym is a little more important than it used to be.
Growing up, I played soccer year-round and could eat literally anything I wanted. I specifically remember gorging myself with cereal, donuts, cookies and whatever I wanted on Friday nights when I would sit down to watch a movie. It was heaven. I was 5'4" and 110 pounds soaking wet. My size 2 jeans were loose on me and I had a stomach so toned that there were a hint of girl abs. I was every bit as skinny as any girl could wish to be.
That picture was taken almost 4 years ago now and many things have changed since then.
When I graduated high school, I stopped playing soccer simply because I didn't have the time. Between college schoolwork and my job, I was lucky if I had a chance to sit down. My healthy, home cooked meals turned into dining hall food and $3 frozen pizzas. I started taking 3 different types of medications, all of which have the nasty side effect of weight gain. I gained about 30 pounds since that photo.
I no longer was proud of my body and that hurt me more than anything.
Size 2 jeans quickly gave way to size 8. My thigh gap was nonexistent and the dark purple stretch marks on my hips made me sick. I stopped wearing crop tops and I dreaded hot weather because it meant I would have to wear shorts. I laid in bed at night, staring at pictures of perfect Instagram models and toned celebrities. I watched people call Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift fat and wondered, "If they're fat, then I must be obese."
The truth is, getting older means losing the body you had in high school and that is perfectly ok.
I used to think the freshman 15 was a joke, but quickly learn that it was definitely not. How could the skinny twig athletic girl gain 30 pounds, right?
While I would kill to go back and look like that again, the best thing I can do for myself, health-wise and body image-wise, is to do things that will make me confident again. Exercise instead of extra fries, clean eating and goal-setting have become my norm. Counting calories and logging my weekly weight are habits that quickly become second nature.
It's ok to lose your high school body. It's fine to fall a little to the powers of the freshman 15. But the most important thing is your health and self esteem. Instead of longing for the skinny legs and toned stomach of the girl next to you in the gym, work harder. Everyone's body is different, so learn to be happy with trying to make yours the best it can be. Yes, you will fall short of goals and have days where you want to give up. Nobody ever said it would be an easy journey, but it will be a worthwhile one.
Life (and extra fries) happens. But don't let it hold you back from where you want to be.
