I am a nineteen-year-old college student with minimal responsibilities. If you were to ask me right now my thoughts on the idea of getting married, settling down, and starting a family I would probably laugh in your face. None of those things are a priority to me at this point in my life. With that being said it may seem way out of line that I feel entitled enough to give out parenting advice, but I beg to differ. I am not a mother, but I am a daughter. A daughter of a rather extravagant mother if I do say so myself. So my advice is simply what I have experienced on the opposite end of parenting. This is my list of 10 ways to be more like my mom. In other words, it’s a list of 10 ways to be the best mother to your daughter.

1. Trust her, until there is a reason not to. Once they give you a reason to stop trusting, simply begin questioning. There’s no reason to treat your daughter like an inmate.
2. Enforce her time spent with her family. Every kid goes through their “I’m too cool for family” phase. But then that kid grows up and moves away and wishes they had more memories. Family is never optional.
3. Give a little to get a little. You can’t just grill her with questions for no rhyme or reason. Tell her why you want to know this information. Make it a conversation not just a jurisdiction.
4. Be open. If she is expected to answer all of your questions, you will need to answer a few of hers too. As they get older and make mistakes, you will wish that they felt comfortable enough to ask you what to do.
5. Build their trust in you. When they ask you to keep a secret, keep it! If a girl can’t trust her own mother, she will have a very hard time trusting anyone else.
6. Encourage a little retail therapy. Obviously as a parent you need to teach your kid how to save their money. However, after your daughters first heartbreak, going for a drive with an expensive coffee to buy a pretty new dress will help her well-being more than it will hurt your wallet.
7. Teach her to be independent. She needs to have a role model. Someone who can show her she is strong enough on her own and she doesn’t need a man to help her out.
8. Quality one on one time. Even if it starts off as a bribe just get time alone with your little girl. I bet some of those answers you’re dying to know will come out in common conversation.
9. This is a new one in my relationship with my mom. Mostly it’s because I’m older, but I still think it’s amazing of her. Mom-mode can have an on or off switch! As much as you want her to stay your little girl forever, she’s not. Once she is an adult she might need to express her emotions in a way that could make your ears bleed. Let her. It’s important that you know how she feels.
10. Most importantly, be her friend! She needs to have someone to talk to when her friends leave her out or they don’t like the boy she is dating. She needs YOUR shoulder to cry on. There are different levels in a mother daughter friendship and I get that, just make sure it exists. I am lucky enough that my mom is my very best friend.

So like I said, I am not a mother nor do I entertain the idea of being one at this point in my life. But if I were a mother, I would want to be a mother just like my own. Perfectly perfect in every way.