With one of the most exciting Super Bowls in recent years concluding with the Patriots out on top, 28-24, us fans of the sport we love are now left with the depressing hangover that will last for many months to come. Football season is over, folks. In the meantime, here's a list of things that, like aspirin and coffee, will help you alleviate the football-less hangover state we'll be left in.
1. Watch basketball ... I guess?
It's not your first choice. But hey, it's on. If it's the NBA, that goes until at least early June. And LeBron isn't on the Heat, so it won't be Heat/Spurs again for what feels like the millionth time. With the way the Cavs are playing right now, LBJ might get his rematch with the Spurs in Cleveland! And don't forget about March Madness. I mean, we care about the regular season … but face it, March Madness is crazy. I love it. You love it. Your grandma loves it. Your dog loves it. Your boss loves it. For those who play money leagues in Fantasy Football, you can bet money on the March Madness brackets. Get your fix in there, ya junkie.
2. Watch hockey!
Ah, hockey. The embodiment of American … er, I mean, Canadian aggression. Hockey actually makes sense to me, now that I think about it. I mean, Canadians are so polite, that they need a way to exert all of their aggression into one outlet. Boom — hockey. Hell, they're even allowed to have fights. Those are awesome! And even if you don't know what's going on, just grab a beer, pick a team, and yell loud when something happens. And take a drink. Gotta retox to detox.
3. Pick up a hobby.
Now that your Saturdays and Sundays are completely freed up because your one true love in life is hibernating somewhere deep within the cave inside of your TV, you might be able to pick up a hobby. Some viable hobby suggestions include, but are not limited to: woodworking, watching reruns of your favorite team's past games, watching cat videos on YouTube, Googling everyone you know, thinking about finally asking that girl you stare at in English class out, reading books on how to deal with rejection, practicing speaking without sounding like a dumba** in nervous situations, ACTUALLY asking that girl you stare at in English class out, and drinking. And yes, drinking is a hobby, you just call it "sampling" and you refer to yourself as a connoisseur.
4. Listen to crazy amounts of 80s music and go for long walks to deep thought provoking places.
You know how almost every famous 80s movie has some sort of montage in it? Some song starts playing, and time just flies by. Combine this with the long walks with times that you feel deep, and boom — you just created your own montage in your life. Sure, you will actually have to live through those months, but when you look back on that time, you'll remember it as a montage. And what's a montage? When something really important or deep happens in a short period of time with a memorable song. You can practically turn your memories into an 80s montage. This is how it would go: "What did I do last summer?" *cue memory montage*
5. If all else fails, cryogenically freeze yourself.
Because why not?
