Flirting Is Fine, But Crossing The Line Is Not
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Flirting Is Fine, But Crossing The Line Is Not

Respect people's boundaries and stop sexualizing them when they didn't ask to be sexualized.

Flirting Is Fine, But Crossing The Line Is Not
Wikipedia - Anton Bielousov

When someone drops the word “feminist,” there’s a good chance you might think about the increasingly prevalent Twitter feminist. Twitter feminists tend to be more extremist and more radical in the sense that they dislike men in general and believe in female superiority instead of gender equality, or at least their values and tweets seem to hint at this.

This is not feminism because feminism involves advocating for women’s rights so that they are viewed as equals to men.

I’d like to highlight a few disclaimers before we continue. One is that not every feminist on Twitter falls into the ‘Twitter feminist’ category; many legitimately root for equality. Another is that, yes, I am a feminist – I strongly believe women’s rights are crucial and should be as they are called: rights.

The Twitter feminist sentiment is largely a running joke amongst the millennial community, but it does exist. If you are a Twitter feminist, I do not mean any offense by this article; I just want to express that I disagree with us being superior to men. I think we are equals.

The aspect of Twitter feminism that does make a really good point, however, is in regards to how men view women as sexual objects and that their ulterior motive is to get us gals into bed.

I am not saying that all men are predators because this is absolutely not true. I have so many amazing guy friends that have not attempted to make any kind of sexual advance. However, I also know and am acquainted with several men that have tried to come on to me.

Flirting in itself is not the issue. Go ahead and flirt, as shooting your shot is not wrong to do. What is wrong, though, is continuing to flirt and being relentlessly insistent after it has been made (explicitly) clear that your advances are unwanted.

This whole thing of wanting to simply be platonic friends or nothing at all extends both ways, and gals have been found guilty of being too pushy towards guys, too. Accountability on both sides is important.

In my personal experience, I have had far too many men pursue me romantically or sexually even after I’ve told them that I do not want to be more than friends if that.

There is a very fine line between not giving up and getting the lady versus being blatantly pushy and clearly making her uncomfortable or irritated.

Communication and simple common sense go a long way. If you’re not sure whether they’re interested, you can always be straight up and ask. Pestering her with “Hey,” “heyyy beautiful,” and “sup cutie” three times in a row without a response should be a red flag to you that your advances are unwanted.

Also, just a few pointers in relation to this topic: cat-calling is not okay. A person's fashion style is not indicative of them "asking" for anything. If you ask for nudes and are rejected, accept it. Same with sex. It’s not solely your choice because, you know, consent is a thing and a very important one at that. Nobody ever owes anyone anything and you can be angry but what you are not allowed to do is take that anger out on somebody else because of their personal choices/boundaries.

What you should take away from this is that no means no.

My main reason for writing this article is that I am fed up with unwanted advances and with men expecting me to give them something just because, and because several men think it’s okay to do this then pretend nothing ever happened.

Why is so hard to be platonic friends?


Just because we are the opposite sex means we have to be something other than friends? No!

I have been really, really irritated at times about this because it is so disappointing to think that someone is a great (or going to be a great) friend and then have them pepper in some subtle remark that sexualizes you. I am a human being and my sex and sexual orientation should not be how you see me. Of course, they might be a part of how you see me but those certainly aren’t my only defining factors and you ought to recognize that.

Again, it is not flirting that irks me. It’s unnecessarily turning something that’s not sexual into something that is sexual. If I ask you to stop flirting with me, please stop. And vice versa; if you ask me to stop, I’ll stop. If I want to be more than platonic friends, I’ll let you know but if I don’t, then that’s that.

All I ask is that you listen to me and respect my wishes regarding platonic/romantic/sexual relationships, and I’ll give you that same respect. Just listen to me, please.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

23 Pandemic-Approved Date Ideas That'll Send Sparks Flying From Six Feet Apart

There's a safe way to date right now and yes, it includes masks.


While some people would rather opt out of dating altogether during the pandemic so they don't have to wear a mask on a first date, others are choosing to listen to both guidelines and their heart in order to find love during the time of coronavirus (COVID-19).

Should you be one of the individuals welcoming romance right now, there are pandemic-approved dates you can go on that still adhere to guidelines (and yes, you'll have to wear a mask).

Keep Reading... Show less

20 Books About Latin And Hispanic Heritage Absolutely Everyone Should Have On Their Bookshelf

Any ally of the community needs to be reading these incredible reads.


I go through phases when it comes to what I like to read. I am typically reading two books at any given time: one serious nonfiction and one escapist fiction novel to have on hand and open up depending on my mood.

What remains consistent, however, amongst most of my fellow bibliophiles is a desire to try new and different authors and genres. I, as an Indian woman, have been partial to reading books written by fellow Indian and Desi writers since I first got a library card.

Keep Reading... Show less

In our patriarchal society, men hide from their feelings, but toxic masculinity is literally killing men. They swallow the pain and move on so that they can look, feel, and act "tough."

But, strength is derived from asking for help and voicing your struggle and, trust me, working on your mental health is one hell of a struggle. The real way to "man up" is to acknowledge the downfalls in unjust societal norms. Mental health problems do not mean that a man is weak, they are neurologically-based disorders that require professional treatment.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked 46 Women What They Thought About The Term 'Plus-Size', And Here's What They Had To Say

It's 2020, where change is inevitable and norms are not only questioned, but challenged.


We live in a world where it's become customary to push boundaries, break rules, and question standards upheld by society. Though try as we might, some of these standards are harder to conquer than others — body image is one of the top contenders.

For years, the body positivity movement has pushed for the acceptance of all marginalized body types not represented or celebrated in the media. Recently, we've gotten better at appreciating and accepting all body types, but one thing that's still lingering is the stigma of body image in the fashion industry — more specifically, the term "plus-size."

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Sorry, But 'I Don’t Care About Politics' Is Not A Valid Excuse For NOT Voting

The younger generation of voters is so crucial to the upcoming election because our vote is going to shape the world that we are about to enter as adults.


When I ask my friends if they are voting this term most of them respond with "no" followed by an explanation of "I don't care enough," "It doesn't affect me," or "I don't keep up with politics," etc. I get it, as a college student I know that there are many other things to be concerned about like school, relationships, work, and friends. I also understand that keeping up with politics can seem like trying to keep up with an over-exaggerated reality show that has way too many seasons. Not to mention most news stations and websites are biased so it's hard to decipher if what you hear is true or fake.

However, despite all of this annoyance, as the next generation of Americans, we have to remember that we owe it to ourselves, our families, and to our futures to care.

Keep Reading... Show less

Taylor Swift Sang 'betty' At The ACMs And It Was The Perfect First Live 'folklore' Performance

I guarantee that Inez is spreading rumors about how fire this performance was.


The Academy of Country Music Awards were last night and the performances were wonderful, but Taylor Swift's live version of "betty" from her newest album "folklore" really took the cake for me.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Anna Hernández-Buces

"Do you have big parties on Cinco de Mayo?"

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

9 Reasons I Unfollowed All The Fitness Influencers On My Instagram Feed

I don't need to feel bad about myself because of who I follow on social media.


Throughout quarantine, something that a lot of us picked up on was working out. With all the free time, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to work on that "dream bod" you've been wanting for years, or to just feel good about yourself.

A common way to stay motivated and keep yourself on-task is to follow fitness influencers on various platforms. For some people, yes, this can be a healthy and helpful way to keep your drive. In other cases, however, this can do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Ultimate Guide To Being A Latinx And Hispanic Community Ally

Educate and celebrate their culture to lift the community up.


It's well known that the Gen-Z and millennial generations are more passionate about social justice and conscious about their decisions as consumers as any other generation to come before us.

For these generations, making mindful decisions about where we like to allocate our money, who we choose to follow on Instagram, and even the books we like to read are extremely important to us. With the rise of the digital age, we are constantly consuming media and content, and so there's no longer an excuse for being uneducated if we want to be educated on a wide range of cultures.

Keep Reading... Show less

It was a day we all knew would possibly come but hoped it never would. The day the outbreak hit.

I remember, back in March, I was just about to return home from a socially distanced vacation in my Florida home with my mom and grandpa, when my dad called to tell us he was feeling sick. At the time, President Trump hadn't closed the borders, my school was still going back after Easter, and sheer panic hadn't yet flooded our news outlets. We were meant to return home on Saturday, but when the borders closed on Thursday, things got a little more serious.

Keep Reading... Show less

21 Romance Novels You'll Fall In Love With By The Fire

It's time to cozy up and fantasize about our fav fictional love stories.


Recently, I found myself reading a bunch of romance novels and it's truly unleashing the romantic side of me. With fall weather nearing, it's the perfect time to cozy up with a good book and ignite the romantic flame in your hearts with the turn of every page.

Here are 21 romantic books you should read this fall, some I've read (hence the reviews), and some I'm hoping to get my hands on.

Keep Reading... Show less

There is a lot going on in the world right now, much of which is contributing to the mental health crisis we've found ourselves in. While it would be fantastic to snap our fingers and jump out of our rut, that's not exactly how these things work. Thankfully, small, sustainable steps can make a huge difference in your mental wellbeing.

Keep Reading... Show less

These 10 Oversized Graphic Tees Are JUST As Cute As Urban Outfitters — And They're All Under $30

There is never a bad time to get some new oversized graphic tees, especially when they're all under $30.


While we all love Urban Outfitters' graphic tees, it can be hard to justify a $40 T-shirt, so I am always on the hunt to find cheaper alternatives that are just as stylish! Thrifting is always an option for authentic, vintage tees, but we don't always have the time to search through the endless aisles of Goodwill.

Lucky for you, there are still affordable alternatives that don't require quite as much effort.

Keep Reading... Show less

On Monday, "Dancing with the Stars" returned to our televisions with their 29th season. This season featured a lot of different changes including a new host, a new judge as well as a new judging system.

Among these changes, there were also changes to account for the coronavirus pandemic. Some of these changes included practicing socially distancing as well as different filming practices.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments