To the girl who can't move on,
I know what you're thinking. "If I could just let go, I could move on." I wish I could tell you why you can't move on. I wish I could tell you that there's a simple way to let go of the person who you once loved. I wish it was easy to turn off those feelings for him so that you can move on. My God, I wish there was a way for me to let go of you so that I can move on. It's hard and I don't have an answer as to what it's going to take to let go and move on. It's different for everyone, there's not a simple way to "let go." I know where you're coming from. I get it. There's something about him that you can't figure out how to let go of. It's different for everyone. Maybe you can't let go of the fact that he hurt you. Maybe you can't let go of the fact that loving him felt like home. Maybe you can't let go of him because he knew you all too well and the thought of re-introducing yourself to someone new who doesn't know you is scary. Maybe you don't want to introduce yourself to someone new, but you at least want to let go and move on with your life. Whether you know the reason or not as to why you can't or don't want to let go, I understand how you feel.
I don't know what it is I can't let go of. Maybe I can't let go because I am so full of anger. I am a pot overflowing with rage and it won't allow me to let go. But I can't move on until I let go and let the rage flow out. I can't be a new person until I release the rage. The rage that fills me comes from him. Whether that was his intention or not, I don't know and I don't dare ask. I wish I could find the root of what is keeping me planted to him. I wish that I was able to de-root myself from him. After all, don't you de-root dead flowers anyways? Although the better half of me knows to just let go, there's a part of me that just doesn't want to. It's like I have false hope that things that have been broken can be repaired. Some things can be fixed, but this is broken beyond repair. If I know this, then why can't I just let go? Let go of the fact that some things are meant to remain broken and tossed in the trash. Isn't that what mom does when a dish breaks? She doesn't obsess over it. If it's broken beyond repair, she throws it away and moves on. She knows that there's a better dish set out there and it's worth more than the one single dish that's broken. If we thought of these guys that we can't let go of like the dishes that break and our mothers part with, wouldn't it be easier?
I'm not saying to think of men as dishes that break and are meant to be tossed for something better. I'm saying that sometimes we hold on to a false hope that things can be fixed or that things that break can still be used. This is true, but not in love. When someone is broken you don't continue using them because like a dish, if you keep using it while it's broken it will only break more. Then you're really at a point where things are broken beyond repair. When something breaks the first time, you fix it and move on. So whatever is broken in your relationship, mend it, fix it. But once you do, move on. Don't keep pushing for something that won't happen because then your previous repairs will mean nothing. You don't want your hard work and strength it took to fix something to not be worth it, do you? The more you force something to work, to fit, to stretch, the weaker it gets and it breaks.
Don't force yourself to try to work with someone when you know that the end result will be a broken dish laying on the kitchen floor that you have to throw away anyways. It's hard to let go. But once you do, you'll realize that you can move on. And moving on is all it takes for you to grow and learn how to keep things from breaking.