It's spring in the Midwest, and that can only mean two things: non-negative-degree weather and the re-emergence of Birkenstocks. Even though you've been wandering around your dorm in those bad boys since September, they haven't seen the light of day in months. Your Birks are in dire need of Vitamin D.

However, not everyone is a fan of these comfortable sandals. Don't let yourself get bullied into Converse, Rainbows, or Toms! Here's a list of 5 ways you can defend yourself against Birkenstock haters:

1. They're comfortable! Sorry you have no arch support and have to rip off your shoes when you get back to your dorm. I'm over here cruising in my Birks all day and all night.

2. They're actually cute! Birkenstocks have a reputation for being unflattering, but in reality, they work well with so many different outfit pairings. Whether you're wearing pants, shorts or a skirt, these sandals can complement anything.

3. There are tons of colors! Okay, I get it. You don't like my Birkenstocks, but that doesn't mean there isn't a pair of Birks calling your name. With hundreds of styles, colors and materials, there is a Birkenstock for anyone.

4. I don't hate my life during airport security! While you spend three minutes clumsily removing your sneakers and pissing off the businessman behind you, I'm taking off my Birks in one swift motion and connecting with the businessman on LinkedIn (he was very impressed with my travel preparedness).

5. They're good for the environment! The sole is made out of cork, a natural and renewable material. And what are your soles made out of, huh? Plastic and the tears of little children??? Your soles are as black as your Birkenstock-hating soul.

Sorry if that was a little much, but when it comes to Birkenstocks, I just don't mess around. If you don't like these sandals then...