If you can't tell by the title, I am a first generation college student. And, I have no idea what I'm doing here. I'm still struggling with FAFSA and paperwork. I still don't understand how people can use scandals to get it. That's the tea.
But there is something else that no one told me about college and being a first gen. college kid. No one told me that I would feel different, odd, even weird coming back home. I hate it. I really do.
To be completely candid, I feel weird most of the time. When I come home from uni and finally get the chance to spend time with my family, I feel singled out. I know that I'm probably making it up, but I can't help but to feel different from everyone else around me.
Where I'm from, most people don't go to college...and that's fine. In most situations, it's a smart move to go into a trade or somewhere else where one is practically promised a job that pays well. Meanwhile, I spend thousands of dollars each semester and still not guaranteed that a job after graduation. I won't lie- it worries me sometimes.
So I know that not going to college can be a clever choice. Not everyone is made for college. I get that.
I'm not going to judge you.
When all is said and done, I see no difference between someone who has gone to college and someone who choose not to.
So, I don't know why I assume that everyone sees me differently.
It is true, I am the first in my family to leave home to attend a university hours away from home. I am the first to spend this much money, and I am the first to venture out and attempt to get a career in something that isn't a trade.
Sometimes, I sit around my family during dinner.
It is then that I realize that my views are different from theirs. I didn't realize that I had changed so much. And I hate that.
I want to fit in with my family and friends so badly. I want them to look at me the same way they had always. I want to have the same laughs, fights and mindless conversation.
But there is such a stigma around college and the "leftist" views it gives.
I know that I want college, but sometimes I miss what I used to have. I miss when I was just another high school kid trying to climb their way to the top.