Finding The Confidence Again

Finding The Confidence Again

When things get hard and you dwell on the past, find a new focus and believe in yourself!
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I felt like I was failing. And it wasn't fun. It’s time to stop living in fear. And it’s time to stop caring what others think. I am pushing it all away. It’s good to be aware of everything but don’t let it stop you.


I have pushed opportunities back. I have pushed certain goals and dreams away because I am scared I won’t make it. It won’t happen. Because there will always be a “No.” Thinking back to middle school and high school, I had people laugh in my face when I said I wanted to act. Or even I wanted to sing.

My birthday party in fifth grade, I had a slumber party. I remember we played American Idol. Everyone there I thought were my friends. But friends wouldn’t act like this. As the game went on, Three of my friends wanted to play the judges and the rest of us, like four of us were going to be the contestants. Everyone was a “yes” except for me. On my birthday. At my party. This may sound silly and dumb, but years later I’m here questioning it. I don’t talk to any of these people anymore, we may be friends on FB. I don’t know. (There’s honestly only the few people that I grew up with that I still talk to but we didn’t become friends to later on. ) We’ve all grown up, and everyone is doing well. But yet here I was trying to fit in with these kids who didn’t even want to be my friend. Who tore me down without even realizing it. This still haunts me as I continue to sing. Am I really good enough? Can I sing? Maybe I should’ve quit a long time ago. These are questions I ask myself a lot.

(Throwback to High School talent show)

High School, there was one student who loved to tear me down at singing. And she had a great voice. Already intimidating. Here I am just trying to work on my voice. I was told I had a voice by a few people and a teacher and it really lifted my spirits. But she was there to tear it down. I remember one day in choir, I was rehearsing a song and she came up to me and laughed at me and said “No.” And on stage for the talent shows, she would death stare me when I was on stage. It took me until college to really get over that and open myself up on stage. There were a few friends I relied on, and kept me going. (Thank you, you know who you are!)

Here I am, moved out on my own. Working at Walt Disney World, doing what I love. But yet I still felt lost. I thought about pursuing acting and singing more, but for a little while I have found myself back in this shell of “I’ll never make it.” “I don’t know why I try, I’m not good.” I even had a friend tell me I was wasting time and money. She just doesn't get it. I don’t like it. I don’t like who I became. My mom still thinks I’m the bravest person she’s met. Everyone who knew my grandfather, still talks of me as he always said I was his pride and joy. But honestly it felt like an illusion. Because I felt like a failure. I’ve been the one to say “Don’t let stuff tear you down.” “Follow your dreams, no matter what they say.” Some of my friends say I inspire them, but did I?I let my guard down, and let the past come back to haunt me and I have let others influence my decisions. Not in the good way. But that's over. I over came it. The friends I have now and the family I have are the best support I could ever ask for, and I am truly happy.

I will never let these silly things get to me again. I know now, I am never a failure. I may just be detouring and doubting but I am still me. And I am done. I am done worrying about if I can sing or not. I CAN. I am done with what others think of me. Unless it is helpful and positive criticism. Sure, it’s taking me awhile to get a lead in a musical or play. Or a solo in something. Sure, it’s taking me awhile to figure myself out clearly. But that doesn’t mean I can’t act or sing. Because the many shows I’ve been in as a supporting and ensemble cast member, the more experience I have. The more I work and work on my craft, the better I am. I remember the feeling of being on stage and on set, and the feeling at the premiere of my first film project. Joy. Pride. Happiness. And I will never give that up. And yeah, I may have doubts here and there, but gosh darn it I believe in myself. I am Confident. And you should too.

I will take risks. I am not scared. I am brave. I am strong. I am a singer. I am an actress. I am myself, and whatever my heart sets out for me to be. I'm back on my feet, so everyone watch out. I've got a new focus. And I am ready. You can either stand with me or stay out of my way.

Don’t be afraid to take risks, do it. Don’t be afraid of what people think, do it. You can’t live in fear and by others judgements. You have to live your life and follow your dreams. You are not a lone. You can do this. Just remember the best come to those who are patient. “No’s” will happen, but it’s ok. Don’t give up, soon there will be a “Yes.” But you have to keep believing and working! Work hard and fight for your dream. You are good enough, now go be more.

Cover Image Credit: Missy Hargrove

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A Love Letter To The Girl Who Cares Too Much About Everyone But Herself

You, the girl with a heart full of love and no place big enough to store it all.

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Our generation is so caught up in this notion that it's "cool" not to care about anything or anyone. I know you've tried to do just that.

I'm sure there was a brief moment where you genuinely believed you were capable of not caring, especially since you convinced everyone around you that you didn't. But that just isn't true, is it? Don't be ashamed of this, don't let anyone ridicule you for having emotions.

After everything life has put you through, you have still remained soft.

This is what makes you, you. This is what makes you beautiful. You care so deeply and love so boldly and it is incredible, never let the world take this from you.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

You are the girl who will give and give and give until you have absolutely nothing left. Some may see this as a weakness, an inconvenience, the perfect excuse to walk all over you. I know you try to make sense of it all, why someone you cared so much about would treat you the way they did.

You'll make excuses for them, rationalize it and turn it all around on yourself.

You'll tell yourself that maybe just maybe they will change even though you know deep down they won't. You gave them everything you had and it still feels as if they took it all and ran. When this happens, remind yourself that you are not a reflection of those who cannot love you. The way that people treat you does not define who you are. Tell yourself this every day, over and over until it sticks. Remind yourself that you are gold, darling, and sometimes they will prefer silver and that is OK.

I know you feel guilty when you have to say no to something, I know you feel like you are letting everyone you love down when you do. Listen to me, it is not your responsibility to tend to everyone else's feelings all the time. By all means, treat their feelings with care, but remember it is not the end of the world when you cannot help them right away.

Remember that it is OK to say no.

You don't have to take care of everyone else all the time. Sometimes it's OK to say no to lunch with your friends and just stay home in bed to watch Netflix when you need a minute for yourself. I know sometimes this is much easier said than done because you are worried about letting other people down, but please give it a try.

With all of this, please remember that you matter. Do not be afraid to take a step back and focus on yourself. You owe yourself the same kind of love and patience and kindness and everything that you have given everyone else. It is OK to think about and put yourself first. Do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You are so incredibly loved even when it doesn't feel like it, please always remember that. You cannot fill others up when your own cup is empty. Take care of yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Charcoal Alley

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You Don't Have To Be Single To Learn How To Love Yourself

Having a significant other can help you get one step further to self-love.

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Being single is never something to be ashamed of. There is no reason for a man or a woman to feel like they need a significant other to be happy with their life. But, if you do feel like having a S.O. would benefit you and your happiness, there is nothing wrong with that.

I am so used to hearing things like, "In order for someone else to love you, you must love yourself first," and "Self-love is the best love." I mean, of COURSE, self-love is the best love. Loving yourself and all your quirks are so crucial to living a fulfilling life, but I don't think you need to be single to figure out how to love the person that you are.

These quotes about being single and finding self-love have become so mainstream. It's not wrong if you're still trying to figure out who you are and you're in a relationship. People say that being single is a crucial part of your life that everyone needs to experience, but that's not always true.

I've been single for a while now, and I've learned that there are things I can't change about myself and that I should be valued as a person. Despite all of this, I feel like I'm never fully loving who I am 100% of the time. There are good days and bad days. Some days, I find myself wishing I could be more like someone else or change some of the things about myself I'm not too crazy about.

Having a significant other who loves me for exactly who I am can help me in learning to love myself. There are still parts of me that I feel like I'll always want to change, and sometimes it can be extremely difficult to see why those things are important in figuring out who I am.

I know what I deserve out of a relationship, and I know I can't fully rely on someone else to find my own inner happiness, but having someone there to make those bad days better can help me get closer to that happiness I'm looking for. Having a person there to remind me of all the things I should love about myself is something I feel is missing from my life.

I know that the typical way to finding self-love is through exploring your life and the world on your own, and I know that it can be deeply ingrained in our minds that we need to be confident in who we are in order to be ready for a relationship. But it's also okay to explore life with someone right by your side.

If you're single and loving it, that's okay. But if you're single and searching for that S.O. to help you love who you are, that's totally okay as well. Being single can really suck sometimes, but I'll continue searching until I find that person who wants to love me for me. I strongly believe that person will help me learn to love myself for who I am as well.

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