Finding Security: A Guide For The Self-Conscious
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Finding Security: A Guide For The Self-Conscious

Here's a remedy for not caring what other people think.

9
Finding Security: A Guide For The Self-Conscious
Katherine M. Blanner

For as long as I can remember, I have cared what other people think of me. I remember being a little girl and growing my bangs out because some girl in elementary school said something mean about them. I remember being in eighth grade and loving a sweater that I picked out with my mom and proudly wearing it on school picture day, only to have someone make a mean comment about it, causing me to donate it to Goodwill (fun fact, I found the exact same sweater at Goodwill not too long ago and bought it back... funny how fate works like that). I remember, when I was fourteen, a boy making a comment about my make-up free face, looking me dead in the eye, and saying: "You could be pretty if you tried."

It was those various formative moments in my youth that caused my ultimate self-consciousness. For most of my life, I am not always brave, I am not always proud of what I can do or who I am. It totally sucks being insecure. There are many things that I love to do, from photography, to singing, to sketching, to running, to yoga; I have many hobbies that I indulge in. However, it is incredibly difficult to be secure in the fact that I am able to achieve them. There are many instances where I compare myself to other people, especially in art, and I care so incredibly much about their response and feedback. I spend so much time worrying and wondering what other people think of me. I wonder if I will be good enough for them, or if I can become someone respected and reputable in the fields that I love.

The worry and anxiety that results from my insecurities as an incredibly flawed human being often lead me to forget the love I have for my hobbies. I forget why I run, why I do yoga, why I do art. What is lost in the forgotten is underlying motive for why I do what I do, and the reason is simply because I love it. I completely forgot that I loved my hair with bangs in kindergarten, or that I loved the school picture day sweater I picked out with my mom, or that I loved the way my face looks without make-up.

Getting caught up in what other people think of me is the most difficult thing to reconcile with. It has so often made me hate the things that I had once loved, simply because of someone's stupid opinion. I have, for most of my life, put on a performance of the "me" that other people projected upon my soul. However, what other people think of me is not always the reality, but rather a mere interpretation of it. Understanding and identifying the love behind why I enjoy my hobbies and the reasons that I love it is the only remedy to finding my own security.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

133459

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1605023

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1003183
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

917302
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

598113
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

383026
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

498302

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments