I Finally Found Myself in College
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

I Finally Found Myself in College

Hi Stephanie. It's Stephanie. It's nice to finally meet you.

157
I Finally Found Myself in College
ELSiEiSY blog

Being raised by a single, Latinx mom, Freedom wasn't a word I understood until a few months ago. Only having my mom around meant that she was my sun, earth, water, and oxygen. She was the only thing I knew, so I followed everything she said, which meant no going out, not having too much of an opinion, and nothing that goes against our beliefs.

Growing up, it wasn’t too bad. I didn't have to make any decisions. Clothes? Already picked out and bought. Food? Already picked out and separated per meal. Friends? None. My life was school, home, and homework. And that was all I knew until high school. So don't get me wrong, if you had asked back then, I would have told you I have hundreds of friends because I didn't know that friends meant you could to rely on them, no matter what. And that you truly connected and looked out for each other, but I guess that's part of growing up. Looking back, I definitely had one or two really good friends but because of my blind mentality, I didn't take them as seriously until now.

Even now, over halfway through college the people who I would call “friends” or a very small group of people who know that I would do anything for. But even with these friends, my heart, head, and life stay guarded because my mom will forever be in my head whispering “the only person you have is yourself.”

But as I grew up with people I could relate or connect to I grew afraid of socializing because I've always been a little too tall and a little too big for my age group. So that always made me feel conscious of what I thought, how I looked, and what I said. Unfortunately, I never grew out of it, but I have learned how to do with it.

All my life, I didn't realize I had an opinion, so that made me one of the best people to have as friends-- if you said jump, I would have already know how high. So as I went through life, met the love of my life, pick the college and started classes, I felt lost. I've never felt more lost in my life. I was given all these different choices, and no one was there to judge me. It was during the first month of classes that I realize I didn't know who I was. I've only ever known the choice is my mom made for me and now I was forced to make some myself.

To this day, I'm still unsure about who I am, or my favorite question “ who would I be and what would I like if I was alone on an island?” I think I would be able to mostly predict, but there are days I'm still not sure who I would be or what would I like.

As I'm getting closer to my Independence, I hope to be able to find who I am and if you're reading this and understand what I'm going through thank you. It's because I learned I'm not alone I'm able to say what I do and don't like, do you know who my friends are, and what I want my life to be the day or tomorrow. If I'm going to get through this, you will too, because if you're ever on an island alone, the only person that you can listen to is you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

21 EDM Songs for a Non-EDM Listener

Ever wanted to check out EDM music, but didn't know where to start? Look no further! Start here.

2612
21 EDM Songs for a Non-EDM Listener
www.wallpapersafari.com

If you have been following me for a long time, then you know I write about two main things: relateable articles and communication media based articles. Now, it is time for me to combine the two. For those of you that don't know, I am a radio DJ at IUP, and I DJ for a show called BPM (Beats Per Minute). It is an EDM, or electronic dance music, based show and I absolutely love it.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

22543
A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

8642
6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

9472
Kinder Self - Eyes
Pexels

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

27871
Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments