"The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances" is a book by Matthew Inman, also known for "The Oatmeal." I found this book a couple of years ago when I was browsing a local Barnes and Noble bookstore, and I cannot express this enough — it is the most accurate work of art any runner will ever read, ever. Here are a couple of reasons why you should read and share it with your fellow runners:
1. Introducing The Blerch!
Do you remember the time(s) you deeply questioned why you were running? We've all done it, whether it was in the middle of a race thinking, "Why do I enjoy this sport again?" or at the end of a run, and you're gasping for as much air as your lungs would allow. Well, the good news is that it isn't actually you saying those things. It's a little cherub Inman likes to call The Blerch. While he does mention "the wall," he does not believe in it. He says, "A wall is an obstinate, immovable object. You cannot silence it. You cannot outrun it. You cannot beat it. The Blerch, however, can be outrun. He CAN be silenced." That makes sense, right?
2. Running stereotypes
"There exists a stereotype that if you're a runner, you're the type that celebrates ALL forms of healthy living...I am not that type of person." Inman addresses the non-traditional runner and embraces it. He doesn't try to make running sound like some glamorous sport. Instead, he makes it as funny and ugly as possible, because that is its true nature. If that doesn't pull you in to read his book, I don't know what will.
3. The runner's peace
We've all experienced that glorious sensation that is the "runner's high." You're not tripping out and talking to an alpaca about politics, not that kind of high. I'm talking about that inner peace you feel, despite the sweat rolling into your eyes and the heinous sound coming out of you because you're breathing so hard. Almost everything in today's world beckons us to sit down, lie down, to let someone or something else do it for us. Inman understands this very well and encourages his readers to "log out, power down, and get that screen off your face. Go outdoors, experience the world, RIGHT NOW." On the other hand, he understands that once in while you should give in to The Blerch because who on Earth would run in the cold? Forget that — it's time for hot chocolate.
4. Not a runner? No problem!
Everyone has to start somewhere. No one is an amazing runner after their first run; it takes time. Inman understands this and tries to introduce newbies in the most non-traditional way possible — through lazily drawn cartoons. Toward the end of his book lies the guide to being a runner. The best part? He addresses every single thought you're going to have when you're first starting out: excuses not to, changing all at once, it sucks in the beginning, treadmill vs. outside, motivation and over-thinking. Like I said, this book will be so accurate; you'll wonder why you didn't write it.
5. Krakens, Japanese Giant Hornets and the Asscore 9000?
This book is chock full of advice and zany illustrations; I promise you won't be bored. Not only that, he has some crazy stories to share with you about fighting a kraken, outrunning Japanese Giant Hornets and an ingenious piece of machinery called the Asscore 9000. Want to know more? Go pick up the book!
