I recently discovered something that makes so much sense. It was one of those "ah, hah" moments where you wonder why no one had thought of it before.
Growing up, I was taught that there were two ways to respond to a situation: fight or flight. I could choose to go face-to-face with my issues or run away. I think, for a while, those two options were enough to satisfy the situations that we were facing during the earlier stages of our lives.
But as I grew up, I learned the phrase, "Frozen like a deer in headlights." We have had this phrase for a very long time. So, how can you tell me that I have the options of fight or flight, but then say someone has frozen like a deer in headlights? Something wasn't adding up.
As we come to face more serious, possibly life-altering situations, the two original options aren't realistic, all-inclusive representations of how people respond to their environments.
Children are typically faced with simple conflicts because we are being shielded from reality. Small disputes with siblings or classmates don't typically warrant a stunned, dear-like response. However, as we grow up, we face things like test anxiety, sexual assault, and relationship/family issues that cause us to stop in our tracks.
Granted, some of these more serious things can occur to a child, but typically, they don't understand enough to know to stop and process the events.
So now, we have a third option. Fight, flight, or freeze.
I think this is a better representation of what response mechanisms are because it lets individuals of all ages know that freezing / not knowing what to do is an acceptable and, sometimes the only, response to give to a situation.
This topic was initially introduced to me in the context of sexual assault victims. Survivors typically recall freezing at the moment because they are so stunned by the situation that they are unsure of how to react. After having said no and attempting to remove themselves, some deal with the struggle of having their power stripped from them by freezing.
It makes total sense.
The idea of freezing in the face of hardships relates to an article I had written previously about accepting that you don't know everything. This article is about accepting that you can't always do something. Sometimes, your body is going to tell you to stop and process or even block out the situation. That's okay, too.
The impression that fight or flight gives is that we have to make the conscious decision to either stay and fight our battles or choose to move beyond them. But I think we are now taking the time to acknowledge the feelings of people who are not only faced with an obstacle, but also a victim of a situation.
It's important to recognize that, at times, inaction is the only action there is.
