Since 2009 when Kanye West first erupted on stage during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for video of the year, their feud and friendship has been plastered across all of our timelines. Some skeptics say that it has been a publicity stunt from the start and others think that it is a heartless attack from one another’s public relations teams. Regardless of what you think the motive behind the whole feud is, there is one thing we all must come to see and agree on – it’s bad for women.

As many of us sat there and watched in horror back in 2009 as Kanye shoved aside Taylor’s massive accomplishments, Taylor did the same. I remember watching at the tender age of 10 hoping that someone was going to jump on stage and tackle Kanye and save Taylor before she started to cry. That unfortunately never happened. What I realize now is that Taylor did not save herself either. Some say she was being polite, others say that she was in shock along with us and some even say she knew all along. It takes a lot of courage to stand there while all of the hard work you put forth is torn down by a strong voice in your professional community, but what would have shown more courage is standing up for yourself. There are one million things she could have done in that moment that did not include standing there. Her standing there could show respect for Kanye and Beyoncé, but it could also show fear and submission – which is where the problem for women and their rights start.

Some of you may argue that the problem for women started when he jumped on stage, but I genuinely believe Kanye would have done that to anyone, male or female, black or while, unless their name was Beyoncé (who I am still convinced he has a crush on). We cannot put total blame on Taylor for her lack of action though, there is a long line of submission to blame for that. She was raised in a traditional household where she learned not to speak out of turn and to respect others (presumably men). Where would she have ever learned to speak out and stand up for herself, especially against such a big name with an even bigger mouth when she was so young and new to the industry?

After that fateful night at the VMA’s everything seemed to blow over. Kanye West wrote a beautiful song called "Runaway" for Taylor as an apology and they both put out press releases saying it was over with and done, which raises another large red flag for women. I will admit that the song was beautiful and a lovely gesture, but that is another way of saying he bought his way back into the public’s good graces and that because he seemingly was “sorry” everything was alright. That is wrong. There should have been no song, no “grand” gesture, until after there was a formal and public apology acknowledging Taylor Swift’s hard work and that she deserved that award.

In the years following, Kanye and Taylor made several appearances together to show that there was no Bad Blood, then started to separate their narratives. Taylor went on to go produce three world tours and take on the world as a trend setter in the fashion, friendship, relationship and musical worlds. Kayne went on to marry longtime friend and socialite Kim Kardashian and have two children, launch his own very successful shoe (and later clothes) company and also rock a world tour of his own. So why did they revisit this feud from almost 10 years ago and why is it even still relevant?

In early 2016 Kanye West released a song titled “Famous” in which he uses derogatory terms to describe Taylor Swift (red flag), takes credit for her fame (hence the title, red flag) and despite the fact that he’s married, claims there is still hope for the two to have sexual interactions (RED FLAG). The scariest part is that Kanye West claims that Taylor approved of it, and some people actually believe him. So when his wife Kim Kardashian recently released some footage on Snapchat of Taylor and Kanye’s private conversation about the song, a frenzy erupted. Nowhere in the footage does Taylor say that it is okay for him to call her derogatory names or to claim he made her famous, though she does seemingly say that the sexual contact line is funny. This is one big red flag after another.

Let’s talk about how Kim Kardashian (not an original member of the feud or in the music business at all) feels the need to weigh in and objectify another woman. On her popular reality TV show, Kim talks about how being called a “bitch” in rap is not an insult and that she lets Kanye call her that in his songs. Or we can talk about how Kim’s sisters are now weighing in and attacking other famous females, like Chloe Grace Moretz, after standing up for Taylor. In this situation it has turned to women cutting down women and objectifying them for entertainment, personal gain and pure pettiness.

The feud between Taylor Swift and Kanye West is long past its due and should be allowed to peacefully die instead of sparking some all on girl war between some of the most famous and followed women in the world. The culture for women that this is breeding is destructive and counterproductive to the progression of women’s rights and respect in this coming generation.