Feeling left out and getting walked all over

I'm Tired Of Always Getting Walked All Over

Being taken for granted is a terrible feeling.

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Feeling underappreciated is the worst feeling to have. After putting so much work into something just to feel like you belong and to make new friends, it's a slap in the face to not succeed.

It sucks.

I think people just take my hard work for granted and don't think, care, or appreciate what I do.

People just use you for when it's convenient and benefits them.

I've learned this many different times, in many different situations.... and it's all the same, the same outcome.

I realize that some people aren't meant to be friends with me.

I just don't understand why I have to find out and realize after I put time and effort into the relationships I build.

I'm not just a fly on the wall, I'm a person and I'm not invisible.

Yet, it sure feels like that.

I'm at a competition and the first half is volunteering for the younger kids. I help table, sell raffle tickets, sell shirts and other apparel and then I get left. I get stuck doing it all by myself while everyone goes off and have fun, except the four people we are partnering with to do fundraising outside of our group.

I didn't mind at first. But then, I get a short break to get away to watch all the action! I am told about 20 minutes later to go relieve those four people so they could get a chance to see what our group is all about. So, I tell them that they can go see the competition since they haven't seen one before and they all leave me alone in the corner.

I watch the table, watch the money made, and watch the merchandise, all for an hour with nothing to do. I get to watch the competition from afar and everyone having fun.

But I'm not.

I didn't want to make a scene; I'm trying to fit in.

But I feel as if I'm alone.

Eventually, those four people come back because they "feel bad" for leaving me alone. But the damage is already done.

At least someone else could've come over from my own group to talk to me, to switch out with me and let me enjoy the competition. But no, no one did.

It's not those four people's fault. They have been working all day at the table like myself.

Later, I have to sit there and watch how my group thanks and compliments those four people who partnered with us and ignore me.

I still have one more day with my group and from now on, I will not be taken lightly. I will watch how these people work and see who they really are. See if I do belong or if I'm just deadweight to them. See if I could get around this bump and move on. Or have to let this group go and find something new for myself.

I wish I would stop people from walking all over me.

I wish it didn't have to come to this.

I wish I had a better judge of character and made worthwhile friendships.

I wish that I could be someone people wanted and valued.

Someone people could stick with and not let me down.

I get let down a lot and no matter what I do I always get disappointed. I put myself out there and I just let myself get hurt every time.

Hopefully one day that will change.

Thanks for reading.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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18 Things You Know To Be True If You Are A Dancer

#Dancerproblems.

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It's the night before my first dance competition of the season, so of course I'm going to write about dance. Without further ado here are 26 of the most common things you know if like me, you are a dancer.

1. You are constantly choreographing dances in your head.

It doesn't matter what song you are jamming out to, without fail, you find yourself choreographing dances, even at 2:00 AM.

2. You always find a way to practice your solos or dances for competition.

Even if you have a small space to work with, NOTHING, and I mean absolutely nothing will stop you from practicing.

3. You are constantly trying to better your technique.

All day, every day, it doesn't matter if you're working on turn combinations or bettering your tap technique, not a day goes by that you don't work on it.

4. You have a "dance drawer" in your dresser.

Leotards, tights, and booty shorts, oh my!

5. The studio is like your second home and your team is like your second family.

There's really no explanation needed.

6. You feel like you never get enough time in the studio.

Because there's no such thing as "too much dance"

7. Your weekends always consist of a dance private

Literally almost every weekend

8. You're not embarrassed about going out in public while wearing dance clothes.

And you don't care if people look at you funny for wearing your leotard and company jacket to a restaurant.

9. Your company jacket is your jacket of choice.

You've gotta represent your studio, plus it's sooo comfortable.

10. Forget the holidays, competition season is the most wonderful time of the year.

I love competition season so much!

11. You're always losing bobby pins.

Gotta love those sock buns that take you literally 15 minutes to do, and the ridiculous amount of bobby pins that you use just so your bun can stay in tact.

12. You have regular earrings and then you have dance competition earrings.

Those big sparkly earrings are always fun to wear.

13. Your Instagram explore page is full of videos of other dancers.

What can I say, I just love dance.

14. The phrase "I can't, I have dance" is one you say all the time

I apologize to all of my friends and family who I try to make plans with but can't follow through because of dance privates.

15. The same goes for "5, 6, 7, 8"

I am so guilty of this one.

16. People ask you if what you do is like what they watch on "Dance Moms"

And you reply with "Sort of, but not exactly"

17. Sometimes you just randomly strike a dance pose.

For me, it has always been , and always will be an arabesque.

18. Your mom is the best dance mom ever, and you dad is the best dance dad ever.

They honestly are, I couldn't do any of this without my wonderful parents and am so thankful that they continue to support me in doing something that I absolutely love.

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