Fear is innate. And because it is innate, it’s the emotion with the most power over us. Fear creates anger, anxiety, and despair. It’s a dark cloud hovering above you. It’s a physical sensation that keeps you up at night. It’s a natural reaction that has been engrained into your being. It is your most primal instinct.
Since evolution has deemed fear so essential, it’s not “learned” like other emotions. The only thing “learned” in regards to fear is what we should fear.
In the wild, we learned to fear predators and environmental instability. That was it. These two things were our only worries.
In the span of a few thousand years, that list has grown exponentially. Every day, we seem to find new things to worry about. Whether we have control over them or not, these fears permeate our subconscious and affect how we approach life.
At age three I had gotten into a fight with a friend who decided hit me. I learned to fear boys.
At age six I had been teased and told I wasn’t “cute” enough to be in the school play. I learned to fear the opinions of others.
At age nine I got my first ever B in school, which is not satisfactory in my family. I learned to be afraid of disappointing people.
At age 12 I started a new school where the fear of others opinions was brought to the front of my mind once again. I learned to fear the unknown.
At age 16 I was a junior and afraid that I could never live up to my potential. I learned to fear for my future.
At age 18 I was black-listed by school administration because a technicality had me labeled as a “drop-out.”
When I went off to a predominantly male school, it was reinforced that I should be afraid of men.
At age 20 I’m still afraid for my future in the medical field. I’m still afraid of disappointing the people who have supported me. I’m still afraid of others opinions to the point where I sit mute in most conversations for fear of offending someone or coming across ignorant.
Am I supposed to let these fears possess me? To keep me from other people? To keep me from pursuing what I love? To keep me from living?
It’s difficult, but we need to unlearn some of these fears. We need to realize that our past experiences don’t have much, if any, bearing on our present and future. The anger, anxiety and despair we once felt should not be allowed to poison our outlook and dampen our confidence. If anything it should drive us to challenge these fears and prove to ourselves that we are capable of overcoming them. After all, the only thing to fear is fear itself.
