My latest vlog features my family's trip to the Farmstead in Meridian, Idaho!
We grew up thinking the world was black and white. There's tall people and short people. There's old people and young people.
There's fat people and skinny people.
But as you get older, you realize there is a lot more in between those two ends of the spectrum than you ever thought possible. Especially when it comes to weight. And you do a lot more realizing if you're in an awkward position on that scale... Literally.
1. People always tell you to stop saying you are fat
Obviously, your friends SHOULD prevent you from talking negatively about yourself. And if you only saw you when you were fully dressed, you'd probably tell yourself to stop saying you're fat, too.
2. And are kind of surprised by your actual weight
You've definitely had friends who are shocked by the number on your scale because you can carry it pretty well when you are fully dressed.
3. Sometimes you feel like a catfish
Have you ever changed out of your super cute, flattering outfit and looked at yourself in the mirror and thought... Wow, am I lying to people?
4. But you know this is probably true for most people
When you're wearing clothes, typically the parts of a body that bring about insecurities (stomach, namely) are covered. No matter the body type, you realize most people are more comfortable in clothes than out of them.
5. Your confidence is often contingent on the month
November? Yep, won't need to be in shorts or a bikini for about 7-8 months. I am good to go.
February? I'll need to be in a bikini soon.. I could use some work.
6. You are thrilled by the one-piece bathing suit making a fashion come back
A resounding 'thank you' to whoever decided it was time to give one-pieces a try again. The stomachs of us in-between gals are appreciative.
7. Crop tops are 95% of the time not your top of choice
Yeah, okay, clothes are supposed to work for me and not against me.
8. You honestly don't understand jean sizes
I have fluctuated in weight a lot of my life, most recently losing 25lbs, and I still did not budge in jean sizes.
9. You wonder what other people think when they see you
Do other people see me as thin in clothing? Or fat in a bikini? What size am I perceived as?
10. Shopping is kind of a nightmare
Have you ever found about 27 items you liked, added the prices and thought, ah, it is going to be so tough to choose from all of these items? Only to go into the fitting room and realize only 2 of the items fit you well? Yep, me every single time I go to the store.
11. You're thankful that at least you've got boobs
You can kind of hide them in clothes, and then let them steal the show away from your tummy in a swimsuit.
12. You have a hard time setting weight-loss goals
You aren't really sure how overweight you are (if you are, at all) and you don't want to be at an unhealthy weight on either side of the spectrum.
13. Body positivity comes and goes
There are days, weeks or even months when you feel like the most beautiful person on the planet, and then something happens (old jeans don't fit, you try on a new bathing suit, etc.) and you convince yourself that all of that confidence was wrong and undeserved.
14. You always try on the biggest size first
Either this or you're in a weird limbo between the smallest plus sizes size and the biggest generic sizes size.
15. Half of you knows every body is a bikini body, and half of you is convinced that yours is not
You know that your body is worthy of wearing whatever you want to wear, but looking at yourself and seeing what society (and you) sometimes deem as unattractive can eat away at that knowledge.
16. But you also know self-love and confidence are key to beauty
Even if you have to fake it, you know that feeling confident is going to carry you pretty far.
17. Being in a bathing suit is a constant game of readjustment
Okay, I am sitting. Pull the bottoms up to cover as much as my stomach as possible and the back of the top down to cover any back rolls.
18. You've avoided the mirror after a shower before
You know that you are just going to lose all the comfort you felt in your body during the day when you see yourself, so sometimes it is best to just avoid it.
19. Ultimately, you know your beauty is not contingent on what you are wearing
The goal for everyone should be to get to a point where it doesn't matter if you're in a snowsuit, a bathing suit or a birthday suit... You can see your beauty no matter what and feel confident despite what you have on. It'll take time, but falling in love with the way you look is worth it.
Seasonal Affective Disorder affects many people. I promise it is a real thing. The Mayo Clinic defines SAD as "A mood disorder characterized by depression that occurs at the same time every year." Mine comes in the dead of winter. So this winter, I wrote down a couple of things that made me feel better.
1. Take a hot shower/bath
All the steam in the bathroom and the heat from the water soothes the soul for real.
2. Get out of bed
Try and wake up earlier than usual.
3. Buy a happy lamp
They mimic sunlight but without the UV rays.
4. Make your bed everyday
One small accomplishment everyday.
5. Sit in your living room as opposed to your bed room
6. Eat healthier
7. Do one small thing for yourself everyday
Get a cup of coffee or go for a walk.
I hate it as much as the next person but it does help.
9. Go out with friends
I know sitting at home may be ideal but it's nice to be surrounded by people who love you.
10. When you're sad, let yourself be sad
Cry, listen to sad music, do what you gotta do.
11. Ask for help
Let people know what you're going through. It's ok.
12. Take care of yourself
Put on a facemask. Paint your nails.