I thought it would be amusing to write about procrastination because I procrastinated on writing all week. I may be a professional procrastinator, which isn’t something to be proud of, but we all have our flaws.
Here are some things I say almost all the time.
1. “The project isn’t due for another two weeks. I have plenty of time.”
In reality, I really don’t have plenty of time. Professors give you so much time to get something done because it really will take you that long. Although I always get it done the night before.
2. “I’ll do it later.”
My grandma loves me, but when I utter those four words I know that she wants to kill me. She always says, “Today is today and tomorrow never comes.” I’m sure she didn’t come up with that, but she says it often. Do I ever listen to her? No. Does she wake me up at the crack of dawn because I forgot to do what she asked me to do? Absolutely.
3. “I’ll start studying tomorrow.”
This is something I said every day when finals week began. Did I ever start studying the day after I said I would? No. I did, however, study the day of whatever final I was going to take. Did I totally stress out? You bet I did.
4. “What do you mean the *insert subject* project is due tomorrow?! It says right here on my calendar that it is due…tomorrow! Oh joy, looks like I’ll be up all night.”
I used this one a bunch this semester. I had some friends that liked to have things done the day that we were assigned them, and then I walked into their rooms the night before totally panicked that I wasn’t going to get it done in time. At one point, I became the friend that had things done days before they were due…that phase lasted about a month.
5. “Why did Professor *insert name* assign so much homework and only give us a few weeks to do it?”
Actually, they didn’t assign very much homework for the month that they gave you to do it. They did assign too much for you to get done in one night, but, naturally, you’re still upset with that professor.
6. And my favorite: “I will never wait until the night before to get this 10-page essay or project worth 40 percent of my grade done.”
I’m making myself laugh. I will wait until the night before to get projects or essays done. I tend to do better when I stress out. Even though that isn’t good for you and is really annoying to your roommate who is trying to sleep while you’re crying about your essay at three in the morning.
I enjoy being given so much time to get stuff done, but I usually don’t use it all. 12 hours before the project is due is good enough for me (if any professors are reading this, I am totally just kidding about only giving us 12 hours).
Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator.
