21 Excuses To Avoid Drinking In College
Start writing a post
Entertainment

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

1070
21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College
@oldrow Instagram

*Disclaimer: it is okay to drink; it is okay to not drink*

Hi, I'm Riley and I don't drink at this point in my life. Not only that, but I'm in college! The pinnacle of ~fun alcohol time~, right?

I know what you're thinking: my college experience is a sad, dreary snooze-fest. Woe is me! However, my time in a university has been (and continues to be) a happy, delightful adventure.

Sober, I am doing all the activities that students who drink do. This includes the seemingly intimidating parties, dinners, etc. where folks engage in communal drinking. Here, I understand that turning down drinks is difficult! You know, the whole psychology of peer pressure, yada yada. But, staying sober is completely possible with the help of some handy-dandy excuses.

Obviously, "because I don't feel like it" is a perfectly legitimate reason, but there will always be pushy people who cannot take "nope" for an answer. So, here are some lighthearted ways to turn down the offer.

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?” 

Giphy

2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!” 

Giphy

(And every night, but they do not have to know that.)

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”

Giphy

4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!” 

Giphy

(It helps if you trip over as you say this one. Really sell it.)

5.  “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

Giphy

6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”

Giphy

7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).” 

Giphy

(This wine costs over one hundred grand.)

8.  “I ought to help my pal get home safe.” 

Giphy

9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.” 

Giphy

10.  “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”

Giphy

11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”

Giphy

12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”

Giphy

13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”

Giphy

14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”

Giphy

15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.” 

Giphy

16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”

Giphy

17. “Hey! Look over there!” 

Giphy

(Run away.)

18. “I’m pregnant.”

Giphy

(This is a great excuse, especially if you can have a food baby during the event.)

19. Just scream until they walk away. 

Giphy

20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?” 

Giphy

21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.” 

Giphy

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

53448
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

124577
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments