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21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

Riley Farrell

Nov 19, 2018

Texas A&M University

1071

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

@oldrow Instagram

*Disclaimer: it is okay to drink; it is okay to not drink*

Hi, I'm Riley and I don't drink at this point in my life. Not only that, but I'm in college! The pinnacle of ~fun alcohol time~, right?

I know what you're thinking: my college experience is a sad, dreary snooze-fest. Woe is me! However, my time in a university has been (and continues to be) a happy, delightful adventure.

Sober, I am doing all the activities that students who drink do. This includes the seemingly intimidating parties, dinners, etc. where folks engage in communal drinking. Here, I understand that turning down drinks is difficult! You know, the whole psychology of peer pressure, yada yada. But, staying sober is completely possible with the help of some handy-dandy excuses.

Obviously, "because I don't feel like it" is a perfectly legitimate reason, but there will always be pushy people who cannot take "nope" for an answer. So, here are some lighthearted ways to turn down the offer.

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?”

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2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!”

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(And every night, but they do not have to know that.)

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”

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4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!”

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(It helps if you trip over as you say this one. Really sell it.)

5. “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

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6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”

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7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).”

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(This wine costs over one hundred grand.)

8. “I ought to help my pal get home safe.”

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9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.”

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10. “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”

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11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”

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12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”

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13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”

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14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”

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15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.”

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16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”

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17. “Hey! Look over there!”

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(Run away.)

18. “I’m pregnant.”

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(This is a great excuse, especially if you can have a food baby during the event.)

19. Just scream until they walk away.

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20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?”

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21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.”

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?”

2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!”

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”

4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!”

5. “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”

7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).”

8. “I ought to help my pal get home safe.”

9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.”

10. “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”

11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”

12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”

13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”

14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”

15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.”

16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”

17. “Hey! Look over there!”

18. “I’m pregnant.”

19. Just scream until they walk away.

20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?”

21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.”

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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